Thursday, September 20, 2007

What's on your mind, America?

Recent searches that have stranded visitors on The Velvet Blog:

rachael ray junk trunk
michael smith cheats on wife
owl makes whimpering noise
what's wrong with deborah norville's eye
debra norville's eyes
800 pound gorilla without so much as a banana
dannon activia makes you poop
deborah norville's eyes
wanking yourself into a coma
debra norville's weird eyes
ed norton is gay
things that frighten a baby
nymphomania or narcolepsy
what should breath smell like
dog modeling blog
david niven penis
id like a large pizza, please
had to. dead you know
rexella van impe insane
is that a sock in your shorts or glad to see me
this blog isn't really interesting
bite the head off a chicken
deborah norville left eye
toe stuck in faucet
explosions in the head syndrome

America, might I suggest therapy? Say, twice a week?

PS: What the hell is wrong with Deborah Norville's eyes, anyway???

Update: I'm thinking that any number of these would make a fine slogan for the top of the page. Which do you think is best? I'm leaning toward: "Dannon Activia makes you poop" or maybe "An 800-pound gorilla without so much as a banana."


Mark said...

I call dibs on "this blog isn't really interesting."

Peter said...

I call dibs on mark the comment leaver isn't really interesting. But who knows - maybe in real life he would have us all rolling. *snort*

fermicat said...

The banana thing is good (especially on the sock monkey days), but the sock thing is good too. Or "things that frighten a baby". Hard to decide...

Doug said...

'kay so as a professional, I had to go look at Deborah Norville (google image search) to see what all the fuss was about.

Checking IMDB, I see she's 49 years old. In her biz, youth is everything, so it's a fair bet she's had cosmetic surgery. So . . . my guess, she had a blepharoplasty (eyelid surgery) to correct bags, and she ended up with asymmetric lids.

Doug said...

And since I'm not a urologist, I am NOT going to investigate David Niven's penis.