Sunday, September 30, 2007

Block that metaphor!

Devendra Banhart, in the New York Times, on the new R. Kelly album:
This album makes me feel like I’m driving a turquoise Hummer over a rainbow made of distilled euphoria.

Methinks Mr. Banhart is hiding an illegal euphoria distillery in his basement.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Smackdown!: Sylvia's Mother vs. Stacy's Mom

Sylvia's Mother

Who: Subject of song written by Shel Silverstein and recorded by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show.

Pros: Is good about answering the phone and passing along information. Forecasts the weather and suggests rain gear, as approprate. Extremely polite.

Cons: Rather passive-aggressive.

Stacy's Mom

Who: Subject of song by Fountains of Wayne.

Pros: Has got it goin' on. Has a pool. Hires local teens to do lawn work. Is often betoweled.

Cons: May be giving the slip to love-struck teen. Daughter is complicating factor. Somewhat picky about quality of the lawn work.

Winner: Stacy's Mom does, after all, have it goin' on.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Blood and treasure, blood and treasure/Go together like a horse and carriage

This I'll tell you, brother: You can't have one without the other.

Can anyone explain where this currently inescapable phrase came from and why it caught on in such a big way the last couple of weeks? I find its repetition, on both sides of the political divide, to be puzzling.

Update: Daniel Radosh points out in comments that the phrase has a longer history than I would have guessed.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Random 10, with lyrics and links, some more appropriate than others

"I Want to Break Your Heart," Peter Holsapple and Chris Stamey: "I know that we just met/And nothing's happened yet/But I can promise you/Before the night is through/I want to break your your heart"

"The Underdog," Spoon: "I want to forget how conviction fits/But can I get out from under it?"

"The Big Sky," Kate Bush: "That cloud, that cloud/Looks like Ireland/C'mon and blow it a kiss now/But quick/'Cause it's changing in the big sky"

"Tears for Affairs," Camera Obscura: "Can you handle one more dirty secret?/One more dirty night?"

"Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference," Todd Rundgren: "You just did not love me enough to believe me/Enough not to leave me/Enough not to look for a reason to be unhappy with me/And make me regret ever wanting you"

"Bros," Panda Bear: "Hey, man, what's your problem?/Don't you know I don't belong to you?"

"The Needle Touched Down," Neko Case: "An eagle swooped down from a semitrailer/Took the name of your town from a sharp-toothed freighter"

"Winona," Matthew Sweet: "Could you be my little movie star?/Could you be my long lost girl?"

"November/December," The Brother Kite: [instrumental]

"Care of Cell 44," The Zombies: "Saved you the room you used to stay in every Sunday/The one that is warmed by sunshine every day/And we'll get to know each other for a second time/And then you can tell me 'bout your prison stay"

Thursday, September 20, 2007

What's on your mind, America?

Recent searches that have stranded visitors on The Velvet Blog:

rachael ray junk trunk
michael smith cheats on wife
owl makes whimpering noise
what's wrong with deborah norville's eye
debra norville's eyes
800 pound gorilla without so much as a banana
dannon activia makes you poop
deborah norville's eyes
wanking yourself into a coma
debra norville's weird eyes
ed norton is gay
things that frighten a baby
nymphomania or narcolepsy
what should breath smell like
dog modeling blog
david niven penis
id like a large pizza, please
had to. dead you know
rexella van impe insane
is that a sock in your shorts or glad to see me
this blog isn't really interesting
bite the head off a chicken
deborah norville left eye
toe stuck in faucet
explosions in the head syndrome

America, might I suggest therapy? Say, twice a week?

PS: What the hell is wrong with Deborah Norville's eyes, anyway???

Update: I'm thinking that any number of these would make a fine slogan for the top of the page. Which do you think is best? I'm leaning toward: "Dannon Activia makes you poop" or maybe "An 800-pound gorilla without so much as a banana."

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Word of the Day


I've long liked the way it sounded (try saying it out loud), but I never knew what it meant till I finally looked it up. It's also the name of a song on an out-of-print Ian/Iain Matthews LP that I have around here somewhere. What a great voice.

(Update/clarification: It's a cover of a Michael Nesmith song.)

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The forgotten Baldwin brothers

--Bilbo Baldwin
--Zeppo Baldwin
--George W. Baldwin
--Shemp Baldwin
--Daniel Baldwin

(OK, well, back to posting, if not as frequently as in the past.)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

So, Led Zep is having a reunion show

Good, because I'm curious how John Bonham is looking these days. My prediction: Somewhat better than Keith Richards.

(Back into hiatus mode for another week or two.)

Friday, September 07, 2007

While the hiatus continues...

...for another couple of weeks, enjoy this song by Peggy Lee.

I had no idea she was so lovely when she was young. The image I have in my head is of her wearing an enormous muumuu and a bad wig, circa the '80s. There's a documentary about her airing on PBS that's worth catching.