Monday, April 30, 2012

Wacky high jinks, helicopter parents, and overattentive flight attendants


Part of a very occasional series in which we improve odd descriptions of vanity press books advertised in The New York Times Book Review by adding the phrase "Wacky high jinks ensue" at the end of them. Why? Because we just want to help. Ad copy verbatim (except for the high jinks) from the April 29 issue. Odd punctuation should be considered (sic):

Plateau Ivory 10,000: Down With Destiny: Wishwanath, the Monarch of Plateau Ivory was driven to the edge by believing his father who had died of an accident was alive and following him to almost everywhere! Wacky high jinks ensue.
Daaaad! Stop it!

Underneath a Flight Attendant talks about [name redacted]'s adventures, during her long flying career as a cabin crew and her musings as a spiritual guru and peace seeker. It's a biography that will blow your mind! Wacky high jinks ensue.
Really, miss, all I asked for was a blanket.

"Now I Can Call Myself A Biker": This is the story of David's exploits and adventures to gain experience he so desperately wanted. It has shown that even at his age, in his mid-life crisis, it wasn't too late to learn how to ride a motorcycle. Wacky high jinks ensue.
Oh, big deal. I just bought a seven-speed bicycle. Now, that takes guts.

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