NEVER MIND THE LACK OF TYLER PERRY SITCOMS!!!! I'M SO UPSET BY THE PROSPECT, I CAN'T TURN OFF MY CAPS LOCK!!!

States With Most Signatures to Secede Took Millions in Federal Money

All the states petitioning to secede from the United States that obtained enough signatures to elicit a response from the White House — with the exception of Alabama — were some of the largest recipients of federal funding in 2010.

Census records show that six of the seven states that amassed more than 25,000 signatures on their petitions to form independent nations in the past week took more than $10 million in revenue from the federal government that year.

Oh, God--what would we do if Georgia seceded? HOW WOULD WE KNOW IF WE WERE REDNECKS, AS WE'D NO LONGER HAVE THE HELPFUL RHETORICAL QUESTIONS OF JEFF FOXWORTHY???? WHERE WOULD WE GET FURTHER EPISODES OF THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA???? WOULD GEORGIA TAKE CUSTODY OF SMYRNA NATIVE JULIA ROBERTS???? WOULD WE NEVER SEE JULIA ROBERTS'S ELECTRIC SMILE AGAIN? WOULD THERE ONLY BE SUBSTANDARD KATE HUDSON ROM-COMS???? NO, GEORGIA, NOOOOOOO!!!