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Dear Costumer

I wonder if I could make any money by becoming a proofreader for spammers.

Political Science

Lyric of the day:

No one likes us--I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens

We give them money--but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us

We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too

Boom goes London and boom Paree
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me

They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now --Randy Newman

Let's be clear--this is satire. No one is actually advocating this as a good idea. Nor does Randy think that short people have no reason to live.

Best ID line ever

Swiped from Daily Kos.

Why I will never buy a Ford; also, reduced blogging schedule ahead

The story of [Henry] Ford's rise is indeed exhilarating. The rest, perhaps inevitably, is a letdown. An inspired and playful innovator -- he once hot-wired a urinal in the company's early days to give a user an unexpected shock -- becomes a tiresome crank. --The New York Times

Speaking as guy who wants to maintain all his workng parts in order, where's the inspired, playful part?

The magazine where I work is putting out a special issue soon, which means that for the next two weeks I'll barely have time to pee--in a hot-wired urinal or not--or update TVB.

Back after Sept. 19.

Best name for a television show ... ever.

China's runaway summer hit, "Super Girl," ended last weekend with a television viewership that eclipsed the population of North America. State news media reported that more than 400 million people watched the finale of the show, an "American Idol" knockoff. ... The program was ... sponsored by a dairy company. Hence, the full title of the show: "The Mongolian Cow Sour Yogurt Super Girl Contest." --The New York Times

I would so watch a show called "The Mongolian Cow Sour Yogurt Super Girl Contest."

Sweet Mary, Mother of God, I just paid $3.25 for a gallon of gas

End of message.

Give till it hurts

Donate to the Red Cross.

Doppelganger

There's a woman who works in my office building who looks exactly like Monica Lewinsky.
Monica Lewinsky
Woman who works in my building

See? The resemblance is almost eerie.

Monday dog blogging

I like the colors in this, taken at night with a long exposure.

Do do sudoku that you do so well

They're all the rage, worldwide. Millions upon millions of people are obsessed with them. And I just don't understand--at all.

They're sudoku, and blame the Japanese for this global craze.

The point of these puzzles is that the numbers 1 through 9 should appear once and only once in any row or column. And I've read a number of explanations of how to do this ... but I just can't. My mind simply goes numb after looking at that grid for more than 10 seconds. For that matter, my mind goes numb after reading the instructions.

I like puzzles, really I do. But I hate these damned things.

We have a winner

Indeed, there are no killer ferrets.

Grammarian, your prize, a 50-pound bag of Purina Ferret Chow, is on its way.