1. The Velvet Blog shot Archduke Franz Ferdinand, thereby setting into motion World War I.
2. The Velvet Blog enjoys long walks on the beach, existential philosophy, and bowling, sometimes simultaneously.
3. The Velvet Blog dislikes long walks off short piers.
4. The Velvet Blog is already debating the wisdom of compiling this list.
5. The Velvet Blog finds that rainy days and Mondays always get it down.
6. The Velvet Blog lies about its height.
7. The Velvet Blog has met both Zsa Zsa and Eva Gabor, but not at the same time.
8. The Velvet Blog is not completely convinced the refrigerator light goes out when the door is closed.
9. The Velvet Blog knows the words to the Hungarian national anthem, but has no idea why.
10. The Velvet Blog is up to the tenth item on its list of 25 things you don't know about it.
11. The Velvet Blog notes that the only word that rhymes with "eleven" is "schmeleven."
12. The Velvet Blog has an identical cousin and believes
The Patty Duke Show was a total rip-off of its life.
13. The Velvet Blog prefers six of one over a half-dozen of the other.
14. The Velvet Blog wrote the Book of Love.
15. The Velvet Blog invented the Internet.
16. The Velvet Blog's mother voiced the reindeer "Clarice" in
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.
17. The Velvet Blog lied about No. 16, and even stole that lie from a former co-worker because it thought it was funny.
18. The Velvet Blog is shameless.
19. The Velvet Blog still holds a grudge against Ralph Nader, and, furthermore, would like to point out that he appears much shorter in person than he looks on TV.
20. The Velvet Blog just found its shame--it got stuck between the sofa cushions.
21. The Velvet Blog likes both Darrens and refuses to pick sides, but prefers the first Mrs. Kravitz.
22. The Velvet Blog strongly believes that "The Velvet Glob" should not be counted as an anagram for "The Velvet Blog."
23. The Velvet Blog likes pie.
24. The Velvet Blog sometimes gives up a little too soon.
