Thursday, January 13, 2005

Oh, how grand!

I finagled my way to a postponement of grand jury service last summer. In Suffolk County, this lasts four weeks. Let me write that one more time: FOUR WEEKS. (Whole weeks, too. Not wait-for-lawyers-to-settle-and-go-home weeks.)

Supposedly, my new period of service would be in January. In December, as I had not received anything in the mail, I called the Department of Jurors and was told I'd begin Jan. 31. (Um, service that starts Jan. 31 and runs for four weeks could hardly be said to be "in January," but, OK.)

It's now Jan. 13. I still haven't gotten notice in the mail, so I called again this morning.

Three times, I sat through a recorded message that lasted about five minutes, then I got cut off.

Fourth try, I reached a drone.

Me: I'm supposed to be called for grand jury service this month, but I haven't received anything in the mail.

Drone [voice dripping with sarcasm]: I don't know what you mean. You're not called to grand jury service. You come.

What. Fucking. Ever.

Sure, someone calls the Dept. of Jurors and says he's "called" to service and you have no idea what he's talking about.



Grammarian said...

Wouoldn't it be a strange coincidence if that drone was unexpectedly indicted for something while you were serving on a Grand Jury?

Ron Southern said...

Write us the conversation you wish you'd had with the drone bee. You don't have to be Hemingway, just grind the silly bureaucrat twit into hamburger meat for our delectation! So many's the time I wish I'd said...