Thursday, October 14, 2010

Yeah, well, that happens the first time


Ugh. This is what the race for New York's governor's office has sunk to:

--Republican Carl Paladino sends out racist and porn-filled e-mails to pals with approving messages.

--He has a 10-year-old daughter from an affair with a staffer, which he kept secret from his family for many years. Then he told his other children, but made them not tell their mother. Finally, he told his wife.

--He also makes comments along the lines of "Welfare recipients should be made to live in prison-like dorms and forced to take hygiene classes."

--He made accusations that Andrew Cuomo cheated on his wife. Then he took them back. Then he trotted them out again. Then he made a video in which he said his private life should be off limits, but that "Andrew's prowess is legendary."

--Last weekend, he gave a speech in front of orthodox rabbis in Brooklyn that included hateful passages on gays.

--He spent two days defending those remarks, and calling himself the "family values candidate."

--Suggested campaign slogan for Paladino, and, really, I want credit for this if he starts using it: Carl Paladino: His family values are so strong that he actually has two of them.

--Finally, he walked the anti-gay comments back ... a little, and very half-heartedly.

Now, via the Times, comes word that the orthodox rabbis he spoke in front of are not happy:
Rabbi Levin said he was especially upset that Mr. Paladino gave him no notice that he planned to back away from the comments.

"I was in the middle of eating a kosher pastrami sandwich," Rabbi Levin said. "While I was eating it, they come running and they say, 'Paladino became gay!' I said, 'What?' And then they showed me the statement. I almost choked on the kosher salami."

Oy. Well, at least I get a Quote of the Day out of it.


PS: The world has become so topsy-turvy that pastrami is turning into salami before choking you. I believe this is among the signs of the apocalypse listed in the Book of Revelation.


4 comments:

Knatolee said...

He gives new meaning to the phrase "sick, twisted, hateful moron."

Grammarian@mindspring.com said...

Hey, maybe "I almost choked on the kosher salami" is a euphemism.....

Will said...

Feh. You could plotz from this meshugenah Paladino.

Jim Donahue said...

Knat: I was fine with the old meaning.

Gram: That was the meaning behind the subject line, though I realized as soon as I hit "post" that it didn't work at all.

Will: The alter cocker is fercockt.