I know, I know, it's hard to pick, right? Still, I nominate this comment, on a story about a fake documentary on mermaids that aired on TV recently, and the fact that it fooled some people, leading to a denial in the existence of mermaids by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.
Interesting...IF NONE if its real, why do they go to sooooo much trouble to try to call it a hoax? When our Government is confronted about UFO's and aliens, they say the same thing...yet people all over the world have strange video and documentation to say otherwise. I am on the fence with the Mermain thing...but now it makes me beleive it a little bit more and its NOT so far fetched to think that there could have been some kind of breeding with aquatic life...if that's the only companion a human had. I personally would rather go without...but not all people are that way. I say anything is possible....
Congrats, Susie Kay--you're our winner!
UPDATE: Do read JohnnyB's ode to fish f@*#ing in comments.
UPDATE UPDATE: You want evidence, Susie Kay? Fine.
Unless you're plugged into certain corners of fandom, you may not be aware of the "mockbuster"--straight-to-video movies that exist just to trick people into seeing a ripoff of a vastly more popular film with a similar name. A lot of these turn up on SyFy on Saturday nights and are largely the domain of one studio, The Asylum.
Vaguely aware of some movie about reptiles on some mode of transportation but not 100% sure what the title is? You may wind up with Snakes on a Train instead of Snakes on a Plane (though I'm not sure how much worse off you'd be, come to think of it). Your local video store out of the Robert Downey Jr. version of Sherlock Holmes? Well, wouldn't you be just as happy as the knockoff version where Sherlock battles a dinosaur? (Hey, that could even be better!)
But until I was alerted by concerned reader Prof. Longnose, I was unaware of the book mockbuster:
Until recently, if you had typed "Steve Jobs Isaac" into the online retailer's search box, the first choice that popped up wasn't the best-selling book by Walter Isaacson, but instead one with the same name and a similarly sounding author, Isaac Worthington. The book appears to be selling, even though Amazon's one reviewer gives the book a single star and calls it a "poorly produced pamphlet." Presumably, Worthington's book is based on exclusive interviews with Jeve Stobs.
Not only are Amazon's customers being plagued with sound-alike titles, but it's happening with Amazon's help:
It's perhaps more shocking that Amazon not only sells the books, it's also helping their authors create them. All of the apparent copycat books that Fortune found on Amazon were made through CreateSpace, which is a division of Amazon. Authors can use CreateSpace's system to design and self-publish their own books. The books then go on sale on Amazon and other sites. Amazon splits the proceeds with authors.
Yes, it's possible to make money doing this:
Karen Peebles, who is the author of I am the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, says she has self-published around 10,000 books though CreateSpace, not all of which are in her own name. "I am a single mother who home schools her children," says Peebles, who says she sells "thousands and thousands" of books a month. "Self-publishing is a great way for me to make income. I receive a pretty nice royalty every month."
You read that correctly: 10,000 books. (That's slightly more than Isaac Asimov published in his lifetime.) I decided to check out Ms. Peebles' output to see how satisfied her customers are. Turns out: Aside from one book, which got three good reviews, not so much.
From a review of Beyond the Other Side of Suicide:
I had purchased by the same author the book called "The bridge that Spans are World" [sic] and found out it was the same book as this book with another title. I have returned that kindle edition.
I figured, oh, she rereleased it after some some time had passed, perhaps with an update? Nope. The two editions appear to be the same and were published about a week apart.
From a review of Total Facial Exercise and Conditioning - a 9 Week Course in Beauty:
I advise you not to waste your money. This purported "book" (read pamphlet) is excruciatingly repetitive: how many times does the reader need to read that "This is a complete 9 step program and you will gain the most benefit by doing the exercises in sequence"? It's extremely poorly formatted: there are no illustrations of any of the exercises, and, as an added bonus, it's outrageously priced. This cut and paste job looked like it had been put together without any thought for how it would appear on a page. It was not at all what I expected. If I could return a Kindle "book", I would certainly return this one.
The feedback on I am the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo seems especially pissed off:
No matter how much you polish this work you are still going to be left with garbage that an unmotivated 2nd grader might turn out in a hurry so they could catch the new Spongebob Squarepants.
My favorite comment, though, is:
Perhaps I'll enjoy the author's next book, "I am the Girl who Played With Fire."
A Kindle edition of Ms. Peebles' Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn's 52 Methods of Russian Torture: In The Gulag Archipelago sells for $2.99. A used copy of a print edition: $999.99.
This reader, who gave it one star, wasn't so keen on it:
I bought this book expecting a scholarly analysis of soviet prisoner abuse - it is instead a small list with a rudimentary and oddly emotional description for each item. It is in NO WAY a scholarly work and should be priced much lower. Each torture is named without citation and briefly described. This review has more substance than this "book". Amazon should be ashamed for selling this at this price.
On the other hand, another reader gave it five stars, commenting:
Karen Peebles suggests that upon closer examination of Solzenitsin's work(s) there are not only 52 torture methods but suggests that there are as many as 200 methods. The Patriot Act was not designed to prevent Al-Qaida terrorism, but to prevent an American insurgency against the implementation of the genocidal New World Order (see the content of the Copenhagen Summit 2009 - that leaves only 1.5 billion of the current 7 billion world population.)
I guess there's an audience for everything.
PS: Other titles by Ms. Peebles include:
--Butchering Chickens on Your Own Farm
--How the Black Enslaved Himself and How the Civil War Set Him Free (Editor's note: !!!)
--Facial Exercise #5 Advanced Eye Toning (Don't attempt this without first mastering Basic Eye Toning. You've been warned.)
--Chicken Farming in Your Backyard for Food, Eggs and Profits
--How to Tattoo With Ink & Needles
--How to Cut Up a Chicken in Two Minutes (Sensing a theme?)
--Training and Experimenting with Tarantulas (Positive reader comment: "The simple experiments she attempted over the years may seem a little cruel to some, but to keepers and enthusiasts the world over, this information opens up a whole new avenue for experimenting with Tarantulas")
--Scientific Link Between Tick Bites and Allergy to Beef
--O Little Bright Soul Adolf Hitler (Editor's note: GAH!!! Description: "Two souls meet in the heavenly realm and make a promise to recognize one another while on planet Earth. Each becomes the facilitator of the other's longing. Yet it is the recognition of each other while in the physical world that proves to be the most difficult part of the journey. This awesome book will change everything you have ever thought about life, death, and our stop at each along our journey.")
--Tarantula Fighting (Editor's note: ugh)
--The Naked Alaskan Bird Watcher (Sadly, I couldn't find any books on frostbite)
--Pendulum Swinging for Beginners
--Swinging for Beginners (Co-written with "The Love Tutor," so I'm assuming pendulums were not involved)
--Everything You've Always Wanted to Know About the Pet Rock
-- and The Complete New Testament. Yes, really. And it's "out of stock."
UPDATE: She isn't credited, but I suspect Ms. Peebles is behind Everybody Poops, a ripoff of Taro Gomi's Everyone Poops. Read the reviews from customers. They are not a happy bunch. (Well, that was a crappy thing to do.)
I've reported this one to Amazon--we'll see if it does the right thing and takes this down. It's out of print, but has no business even being listed.
Haven't listened yet, but I see the new The Projection Booth podcast features a discussion of what has become my favorite bad movie, The Apple, with director Menahem Golan and star Catherine Mary Stewart.
Oh, After Last Season--you are truly the gift that keeps on giving.
Concerned reader God Is My Codependent noticed that the trailer embedded in my 2009 review of the oddball film After Last Season was "removed for copyright violations" from YouTube.
I did find another copy that had not been taken down:
But I also noticed that, mysteriously, a new trailer went up last spring, one that attempts (with only limited success) to make the decidedly crazy movie look more linear and conventional:
I can only assume that the producers, hoping to recoup some of the $5 million spent on this curiosity, are trying to persuade a distributor to release it and capture some of that sweet, sweet midnight-screenings-of-Birdemic cash. They even spent money on new graphics.
So far, no luck, as I see on the Amazon page that the DVD for After Last Season is no longer available.
But, oh, the comments of the film's supporters sure are enthusiastic, and not in an ironic reviews vein, either.
This one comes from Chris anr8:
This movie isn't the most visually stunning film.
I'm with you so far, Chris anr8!
With a budget of $5 million, the entire movie will not look like the recent Green Lantern film which costs about $200 million to make. But the movie has some very realistic and frightening moments created through special effects.
Well ... no.
It goes beyond being just a small thriller. The experience achieved by the movie is sometimes disturbing ...
True!
... and overall, it is magical.
And you lost me again.
You won't be able to tell the difference between what is real and what is not real by the middle of the movie.
And, again, true, if you mean reality in general and not this movie.
After Last Season starts out like a joke.
A bad, baffling movie walks into a bar ...
At the end of the movie, you begin to understand why some scenes and some sets appear so outrageous. After Last Season stars Jason Kulas (who plays Matt), Peggy McClellan (who plays Sarah), Scott Winters (Dr. Marlen), Casey McDougal (Anne), Joan-Marie Dewsnap, William York and Tristan Cole. In the future, the main characters are tied to some murders and use a new technology.
Actually, no. That's a dream. A dream that takes up about 40% of the movie and doesn't actually affect the plot at all.
They filmed the movie on 35mm and it is rated PG-13. The DVD has 5.1 surround sound (which is neat for many parts of the movie.).
Well, the weird sonic murk did freak out my dog several times.
This one from Alex 510 has the subject line "Nonstop entertainment":
From the opening, After Last Season starts to grab your attention. The movie doesn't resemble your standard movie. Events start to happen that are mysterious and baffling. You see a snapshot of the lives of the characters. Jason Kulas as Matt introduces you to a new world of technology. Peggy McClellan as Sarah shows you a dimension of technology that you have never seen before. They are fascinating. and for some of us who are young at heart or teenagers, humor is present in the story. The other actors like Scott Winters, Joan-marie Dewsnap and Casey McDougal are serious and funny. Great way to spend a Friday evening.
Lindsay says this is a "great way to escape your life":
Took a break and watched the movie. Loved the movie. A view of the future mixed with some thriller. I recommend it to anyone who wants to get away from their busy life or who wants to spend an evening watching a movie.
A breakthrough--how did producers never think of that before?! A movie that's intended to be watched!
James C. says it "keeps you on the edge of your seat":
Not a masterpiece. Not an action flick. Still has some action in it and it will keep you on the edge of your seat. Low budget movie with adrenaline. I wish I could have seen this movie inside a theater when it was released in 2009. The effects you get from the movie would have been ten times greater. Excellent DVD. Well worth the money.
In order to stay on the edge of your seat without falling off, please use a seatbelt. Otherwise, you may pass out and fall off.
But my favorite comes from J. Rollit:
After Last Season was not what I expected it to be. It appears to be something then as you watch it; ...
An incomprehensible attempt at making a movie by someone who has no idea how movies work?
it turns into something else.
A frog? No, wait .... I dreamed that.
It looks like the people behind the movie went out of their way to create a different kind of movie.
Yes. An unwatchable one.
Some scenes contain the simplest sets. The computer animation is primitive one moment and sophisticated in others. The special effects are plain and visible one minute and the next they are photo-realistic.
OK, now you're not even trying to be believable.
It seems like the director wanted to leave just enough clues in the dialogues and designs to tell the viewers what is going on. It looks like he may have left too few hints because if you don't pay attention to the dialogues, you can easily lose track of the plot. I watched the latest trailer on the official web site and that helped me understand what is going on.
Also, the magic mushrooms helped.
You know the names of some of the characters right away.
He's got me there. That really does help.
Needless to say, you don't have to understand the whole plot to be captivated by the movie. It is thrilling and scary just by watching it.
As opposed to say, thrilling and scary by just staring at the DVD case.
Thanks, J. Rollit! I look forward to your guest-hosting gig on Sneak Previews, but only because it's no longer on the air.
Let's see what we're in for, and then liveblog watching this sucker!
This may be difficult. Well, here goes, as marked by time code.
00:01:30: Lots of driving. Lots and lots of driving. Perhaps a homage to the opening scenes of Manos: The Hands of Fate?
00:03:00: You know, if you're going to do a multiminute credit sequence, get enough score. The same complete piece has now played three times.
00:04:15: The lead actor cannot even walk convincingly. Has he ever walked before?
00:05:00: Oh, great, he's a stalker. And he's WAY out of his league. And he speaks worse than he walks.
00:07:15: Please tell me the fashion model he's hitting on has given him a fake phone number.
00:7:45: Is there an all-An Inconvenient Truth channel? All global warming news?
00:08:45: The score is now ripping off the theme to Chariots of Fire for another driving sequence.
00:11:00: "What does it take to win your business? I'll give you that AND 50% off!" I'm only vaguely acquainted with business, but if you meet what consumers want and knock 50% off, isn't that cutting into your profit margin?
00:11:30: The professional fashion model our hero has his eye on is having audition photos taken at a one-hour photo store. She should probably get her passport photo while she's there.
00:14:00: He: "How about dinner? I know a great Vietnamese restaurant."
She: "Great, I'll see you there." [Click!]
I'm hoping that she just blew him off, as she doesn't know the name of the restaurant, where it is, or when they're meeting. But I have the feeling the writer/director has never had a conversation before and doesn't know how they work.
00:16:00: More all-green news. On the stock footage, you can see a huge Getty Image watermark. Were these clips not paid for?
00:18:00: Natalie, the fashion model, has somehow been able to correctly guess the time and location of dinner.
00:19:00: "Why did you get into sales?" Worst conversation starter ever.
00:20:00: I cannot wait for the birds to show up and kill these two. Where the hell are they?
00:22:00: "If I could afford it, I'd have 10 cats." Now I don't know which character to feel sorrier for.
00:27:00: Do couples generally have sex while wearing bathing suits?
00:28:00ish: "We're going to be acquired by Oracle... for $1 billion!" Or Dr. Evil. Yeah, probably Dr. Evil.
00:29:00: How many takes were spliced together to form this endless clapping scene? And, why?
00:35:45: Upon seeing a painting:
He: "Oh, lovers on the moon."
She: "Yeah."
This has been your Art Criticism Minute of the Day.
00:37:35: The sound seems to have been recorded with the built-in mic on a home camera. I can't hear the dialogue over the ocean waves. Not that I'm complaining.
00:38:45: "Don't touch it--it might be infectious!" A useful sentence in many ways. The dead bird on the beach appears to be clip art.
00:40:00: Shorter mother's monolog: "My biggest hobby is interfering in my daughter's life."
00:42:15: Ooooo, he dances worse than walks. This song is really ratcheting up the tension.
00:44:00: Make it stop. Please make it stop.
00:45:00: When I said "Please make it stop," I didn't mean end that scene so that we could start a love scene instead.
00:47:15: At last, birdemic has begun! Birds have evidently gained the ability to blow up on impact.
00:48:30: And the ability to hover in midair.
00:49:30: And hide car keys?
00:51:00: Methinks coat hangers are not the best weapon against exploding birds.
00:52:15: Did I miss something? Are our heroes' new friends survivalist maniacs? Why do they have a machine gun and various other guns?
00:55:15: "I'm hungry! I've been under the car for a long time."
00:59:00: A picnic? Birds are diving bombing people and exploding on impact, and you're having picnic?
00:59:30: "Hey, look, it's an old guy on a bridge!" Does bird flu make birds explosive?
01:03ish: "Why can't we just give peace a chance?" BECAUSE BIRDS ARE ATTACKING US!!!!
01:04ish: If a film script asked me to die of bird attack while taking a dump, I'd pass.
01:07: "No, I don't want to get off this bus and be in your stupid movie! No!"
01:08: What was that? Now the birds kill by throwing up?
O1:09: Dead extras, we hardly knew ye.
01:11: Even when their parents have just recently been killed and birds are exploding all around them, kids still love candy.
01:13: If that's all it takes to die, I'd have killed myself while shaving.
01:18: "I hear a mountain lion! I'd better get back to my house. Nice meeting you!" Except for the killer birds, I mean.
O1:19: Only you can prevent terrible CGI forest fires.
01:21: Music now blatantly ripping off "Imagine" while a dead character sports an "Imagine peace" t-shirt. Just a little too on the nose. And plagiarismy.
01:24: She: "I've got some seaweed!"
[Pinteresque pause]
He: "Good!"
Seriously, you could have driven a truck through that pause.
01:27: Dialogue now completely inaudible. Brechtian device?
01:29: The birds have given up for some reason.
01:30: Last line completely indecipherable. Q: Why did the birds give up? A: The movie was over.
--Spasmodical Blistery Tour --Clavicle Killer Bee Tour --Classical Liberty Tour --Baptismal Liturgy Tour --Radical Pillory Tour --Mandible Bitterly Tour --Tactical Glittery Tour
So, the rapture didn't happen. Surely Harold Camping, who predicted it, is sorry for predicting the apocalyptic kerfuffle, causing people to run up debt they assumed they wouldn't have to pay, not saving for their kids' college tuition, spending all of their money on ads, and, um, attempting to kill their kids, right?
"If people want me to apologize, I can apologize yes," he told reporters after his speech. "I'm not a genius."
The preacher also added that while so many of his followers donated money--in some cases everything they owned--to his ministry in belief that the world would end last Saturday, they won't get it back.
"Why would we return it?" Camping said, arguing that the world is still going to end in October. --Daily News
Regular readers of this blog--indeed, all four of you--will be familiar with an ongoing series of posts in which we try to improve odd advertising copy for vanity press books by adding the phrase "Wacky high jinks ensue." (Perhaps it's worth restating at this point that there is nothing wrong with going the for-pay publishing route if you know exactly what you're getting into. But many of the companies with this model are quite scummy, and take advantage of the delusional. I don't care how many ads you take out in the Times, no one is going to buy your book about the previously unknown 13th zodiac sign.) What I've been only dimly aware of until recently is that there are similar companies in the music biz.
About a week ago, a music video by a young teen, Rebbecca Black, went viral. It was promptly heralded as The Worst Video in the History of the World by writers at Salon, Huffington Post, etc., ad nauseum. There was a real pile-on, which is why I'm not linking. It wasn't pretty.
The video in question may indeed be the Worst in the World (honestly, it's arguable--I've seen and heard equally bad), but the kid appears to be around 14 or so, and the comments by bloggers, young and old, seemed like a form of cyberbullying to me. I was reminded of some cases I've read about in Asia where citizens broke some social code and suddenly found themselves hounded by millions of Netizens. I was beginning to think the comments wouldn't stop until Ms. Black committed seppeku in the public square.
It appears that she, and many other teens, have fallen under the sway of one Ark Music Factory, which will put together hungry-for-fame-but-not-terribly-talented teens with some hack pop song writers (including that Latvian sensation Lady-Bird!*) and an Auto-Tune program, film a video (reports say this service goes for $20,000), and unleash it on an unsuspecting Internet.
The results aren't pretty. Here's a celebratory video that Ark posted two weeks ago:
Keep in mind that these are the snippets of performances that Ark editors thought would best showcase their clients in the best light. And then just imagine what didn't make the grade.
It's difficult, but stay tuned for the surprise guest appearance by ... Quincy Jones. Yes, Q, one of the most successful producers of all time. He phones in congratulatory wishes toward the end. I can only assume that there was either a gun pointed at his head or there are some very nasty photos he doesn't want getting out.
Again, I want to stress here that I post this not to mock the kids. The Ark itself, though, is fair game. Guys: It's hard for real talent to be successful, and harder still for it to reap the benefits of success. There's no need to insert another layer of exploitation between them.
On the other hand, songs about broken dreams are pretty successful, and I'm betting there will be no shortage of material in the near future. Or ever.
To warm up the Florida crowds for his inauguration as governor, Rick Scott has been flying around the state this week on a seven-city “appreciation” tour. For the main event on Tuesday, he will lead a parade featuring 26 marching bands, followed by a black-tie dinner for 2,100 people, with oysters Rockefeller and fried calamari served in mini-martini glasses. “Real classy,” said Christy Noftz, who is overseeing the catering.
"Real classy." Somehow when I replay the phrase in my mind, I can only hear it in the voice of, say, a cast member of Jersey Shore in reference a state-of-the-art tanning bed. I find that, in general, people who refer to their work as "real classy" are to be believed about as often as people who refer to themselves as "mavericks."
After their election night victory speeches, the nation’s 26 new governors have had to wrestle with a symbolically rich decision that could set the tone for their time in office: how big a party to give for themselves.
It is always a tricky call. ...
In Nevada, Brian Sandoval, a Republican, will host back-to-back $1,000-a-head V.I.P. receptions, one of them at the Wynn Hotel on the Las Vegas Strip. ...
Others are embracing conspicuous frugality. In New York, Andrew M. Cuomo, a Democrat, is having a small preinauguration dinner for close friends at the governor’s mansion, and has parceled out so few invitations to his no-frills swearing-in ceremony that even some top aides have not made the cut. ...
Oh, please, please, please, please let Cuomo's girlfriend Sandra Lee make a cake and cocktails. Please, please, please, please, please, please, please.*
Mark Dayton, the Democratic governor-elect in Minnesota, said he considered canceling his party, which is scheduled for Jan. 8. Instead, he has authorized a “Blue Jeans to Black Tie” ball with a loose dress code and a flexible ticket price. He plans to show up in jeans and an old hockey jersey.
Dude, we get it, we get it. But why not show up in t-shirt and sweat pants while holding a can of Miller High Life and really make a point?
Then there is Mr. Scott in Florida, whose multiday, multicity inauguration has become known wryly in political circles here as the “coronation.”
Preparations began shortly after Election Day with a prodigious fund-raising drive. Mr. Scott, a wealthy former health-care executive who dug into his own pocket to finance his campaign, received donations of $25,000 each from dozens of major state employers like Disney, Office Depot and Blue Cross Blue Shield of Florida, collecting nearly $3 million. ...
Yeah, I see no possible conflict of interest there.
On Tuesday, for his official inauguration, Mr. Scott will hold a two-hour prayer breakfast with no fewer than 10 speakers; an afternoon concert featuring the country singers Lee Greenwood and Rockie Lynne; and a parade befitting Disney World’s home state. ...
Democrats, especially, detected hypocrisy, and pounced. Mr. Scott, after all, campaigned on a platform of fiscal restraint and small government. Businessmen like himself, he declared shortly after the election, “accept austerity as the price for dramatic turnarounds.”
Pressed about the scale of the festivities, Mr. Scott said: “It absolutely is fitting for these times. We need to celebrate how we are going to change this state.”
'Cause nothing says "we need to tighten our belts" quite like loosening your belt so far that your pants fall off.
When Dick Cheney shot Harry Whittington in the face a few years ago while hunting--as I recall, the game was hoboes let loose on a desert island--we were told A) that the injuries were not serious and B) that the two were good friends and old hunting buddies. Actually, the injuries were quite serious and the two were acquaintances at best. Also, Whittington won't come out and say it, but Cheney obviously never apologized.
What the hell??
The original Washington Post story is behind a pay wall, but Salon quotes this:
Four days after being hit, the birdshot near his heart prompted it to beat erratically, forcing him back into the intensive care unit. Doctors said Whittington suffered a mild heart attack; he thinks it was something less, a heart "event."
Still, the injuries were more dire than previously disclosed. Whittington suffered a collapsed lung. He underwent invasive exploratory surgery, as doctors probed his vital organs for signs of damage. The load from Cheney's gun came close to, but didn't damage, the carotid artery in his neck.
Another excerpt:
Every so often, for months afterward, some of the lead in Whittington's body worked its way to the surface. But many pieces remain too deeply embedded to remove, including one near his heart. At 82, Whittington knows he will live the rest of his days with about 30 pieces of shot inside him. Somehow, he jokes, he can get through a metal detector without causing a commotion.
Tell me again that story about the liberal media ...
When W. moseyed off to the ranch for good, I predicted that there would be a flood of jaw-dropping information about the administration coming out. I was wrong--that didn't happen. Reporters obviously are still afraid Cheney will shoot them.
Ugh. This is what the race for New York's governor's office has sunk to:
--Republican Carl Paladino sends out racist and porn-filled e-mails to pals with approving messages.
--He has a 10-year-old daughter from an affair with a staffer, which he kept secret from his family for many years. Then he told his other children, but made them not tell their mother. Finally, he told his wife.
--He also makes comments along the lines of "Welfare recipients should be made to live in prison-like dorms and forced to take hygiene classes."
--He made accusations that Andrew Cuomo cheated on his wife. Then he took them back. Then he trotted them out again. Then he made a video in which he said his private life should be off limits, but that "Andrew's prowess is legendary."
--Last weekend, he gave a speech in front of orthodox rabbis in Brooklyn that included hateful passages on gays.
--He spent two days defending those remarks, and calling himself the "family values candidate."
--Suggested campaign slogan for Paladino, and, really, I want credit for this if he starts using it: Carl Paladino: His family values are so strong that he actually has two of them.
--Finally, he walked the anti-gay comments back ... a little, and very half-heartedly.
Now, via the Times, comes word that the orthodox rabbis he spoke in front of are not happy:
Rabbi Levin said he was especially upset that Mr. Paladino gave him no notice that he planned to back away from the comments.
"I was in the middle of eating a kosher pastrami sandwich," Rabbi Levin said. "While I was eating it, they come running and they say, 'Paladino became gay!' I said, 'What?' And then they showed me the statement. I almost choked on the kosher salami."
Oy. Well, at least I get a Quote of the Day out of it.
PS: The world has become so topsy-turvy that pastrami is turning into salami before choking you. I believe this is among the signs of the apocalypse listed in the Book of Revelation.
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — In a heated race for the Republican U.S. Senate nomination, Gov. Charlie Crist keeps moving away from his support of President Barack Obama's stimulus package that the governor called "fantastic" and "remarkable" when lobbying for its passage.
Faced with an increasingly difficult primary challenge from former House Speaker Marco Rubio of West Miami, the governor now claims he didn't endorse the $787 billion economic stimulus that included a generous contribution for Florida.
"It seems to be the president's answer to almost every challenge that's facing our country is to spend more money," Crist said Thursday.
Ah, yes. As a result of Tuesday's mixed election results, federal stimulus money is toxic! Toxic, I tell you!
He commented in response to a question while on his way back to his office where he planned to work on putting together a special legislative session to get more stimulus money for a high speed rail system in the state.
That's right! Can't accept those federal stimulus dollars ... wait, what did you just say?
He commented in response to a question while on his way back to his office where he planned to work on putting together a special legislative session to get more stimulus money for a high speed rail system in the state.
Um. I thought that's what you said.
Do go on.
But on a national cable news show Wednesday night, Crist said he saw the stimulus more as Florida taxpayers' dollars coming back to the state and that he didn't endorse the Obama plan. ...
Ah, yes. And if instead of calling it "stimulus" money we called it "Viagra," then everyone in Florida would have a boner. If the stimulus lasts longer than four hours, please call your doctor.
Crist conceded Thursday the stimulus money has been good for Florida.
"The opportunity, as I understand the numbers, to have about, more than 20,000 teachers not lose their jobs because of it, construction continuing to go forward, I want to talk about more," Crist said. "It'll help Florida."
Well, hard to argue with that. Jobs is jobs, am I right or am I right?
Rubio's campaign released a video with excerpts showing several examples of Crist praising the president's stimulus plan.
"Unfortunately for Charlie Crist, the evidence of his stimulus support is on video," Rubio campaign spokesman Alex Burgos said Thursday. "By denying he infamously supported the stimulus, Charlie Crist is hoping he can reinvent his record and that voters forget he once embraced it." --The Associated Press
Because people working is just what this economy doesn't need.
Hm. Well, I had embedded here a YouTube video of William Shatner doing a dramatic reading of Sarah Palin's goodbye speech, from Conan O'Brien's show. But NBC, in its wisdom, asked YouTube to take it down. If you explore NBC's site, you might find it. I dunno. (Note to NBC: When videos go viral, it might be best to skip the Tamiflu.)
It was pretty funny. Yet nothing can ever top Shatner's version of "Rocket Man" (and this is by far the clearest version of this video I've seen):
This interesting fitness advice comes from Dane Cook, America's Most Inexplicably Popular ComedianTM:
His fitness kick began while he was making the 2007 rom-com Good Luck Chuck. But aren't comics supposed to be schlubby? "I always looked at it the other way," Cook laughs. "Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Steve Martin -- they can be goofy, but they take care of themselves."
Yes, who can forget Pryor's 1980 self-help classic, The Crack Diet?
"There's been so much written about and spoken about in the mainstream media and in the anonymous blogosphere world ...
As a side note, SyFy will be broadcasting Anonymous Blogosphere World next Saturday.
... that this will be a wonderful, refreshing chance for me to get to tell my story, that a lot of people have asked about, unfiltered," the Alaska governor and 2008 vice presidential candidate said during a brief telephone interview Tuesday with The Associated Press.
Wonderful and refreshing? Is this a book or an ice-cold Coke?
And if she's been "filtered" so far, please settle in for a refreshing glass of pure crazy. Hold the ice -- we don't want to dilute it.
"In fairness to my family, this is going be a good opportunity for them, too, because there have been so many misperceptions out there about who we are and what we believe in, and I'm excited to get to put my journalism degree to work and tell my story as it relates to my family," said Palin, 45, who in 1987 graduated from the University of Idaho with a degree in journalism.
Last time I checked, journalism did not have much to do with writing a memoir. Is she going to interview herself?
"Being a voracious reader, I read a lot today and have read a lot growing up. And having that journalism degree ...
For someone who despises journalism, she sure brings up her degree a lot.
... all of that, will be a great assistance for me in writing this book, talking about the challenges and the joys, balancing the work and parenting, and, in my case, work means running the state," Palin said.
"I've read a variety of books, and that helps shape my opinions and my views."
Upon being asked what books she's read, she replied, "All of them."
From a Joe T. Plumber interview in Christianity Today, excerpted in the Colorado Independent (emphasis mine):
At a state level, [gay marriage is] up to them. I don’t want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it’s wrong. People don’t understand the dictionary--it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we’re supposed to do--what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we’re supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.
Oh, please, please, please find Joe's homosexual friends. I really want to talk them. I can only imagine the BBQs. "Hey, guys, great to have you here! Oh, get within 20 feet of my kids and I'll blow your heads off with my unlicensed Uzi. Burgers are on the grill and beer's in the bucket over there. Help yourselves."
BTW, when was the last time any black person has used the word "honky"? 1974, during an episode of Sanford and Son?
Time once again for us to examine the Chandler Burr's New York Times perfume reviews. Got your smelling salts ready? Good.
From Sunday's paper:
In 1999, the perfumer Michel Almairac produced a perfume for Gucci that was -- and remains -- virtually perfect.
Not literally perfect, mind you.
Its scent is marvelously, explicitly unnatural, as if one were smelling a coat made of the most expensive Lycra.
Couldn't you just wear biking shorts? Er, the world's finest, most expensive biking shorts?
But beneath the surface, Gucci Rush runs on lactones, marvelous synthetic molecules that give off the fresh-chilled aspect of yogurt, with a hint of the plastic container it comes in.
Activia: Yogurt that makes you poop. Just dab a little on your pulse points and ...
The genius of Rush is clarity without cleanliness. ...
It's like the world's smartest hobo!
Its architectural cognate is the Bank of America Tower, now rising at Sixth Avenue and 42nd Street. The skyscraper's guts are advanced materials like slag-mixed concrete, but its facade even more closely reflects the perfume.
But have you tried spritzing an office building? It cannot be done.
Really. I've tried.
This box is angled, complex, multifaceted. Its clear glass skin is washed in a milky, pearly whiteness, keeping it both warm and cool.
It is both up and down. Night and day. Pastrami, and yet roast beef.
