As Clueless as ever

I'm appearing in five episodes of the As If podcast--a minute-by-minute look at Clueless, Amy Heckerling's 1995 updated, comedic take on Jane Austen's Emma. (In addition to that link, by the way, the show is also available via iTunes.) I'll be a guest for episodes devoted to minutes 53 through 57, and the first of our episodes went up today--the others go up Tuesday through Friday. If you're wondering if Clueless holds up: Yes, it does, and we had a lot of fun talking about it. Host for the episode is Dan Costa (who has his own podcast, Blockbuster Dropouts) and fellow guest is Wendy Mays (who hosts the Pet Cinematary podcast). (I take it that I'm now the only person on Earth without his own podcast.) So tune in for fun and prizes! (Note: The prize is free entertainment!)

You can start at the beginning, if you like--start listening now so you're all caught up!

At the end of the first episode, I was asked if I had anything to plug, so here goes--

Daily Grindhouse posted a piece I wrote about George Pal's 7 Faces of Dr. Lao, a classic fantasy from 1964, and a favorite of mine since I was a kid.

And Cashiers du Cinemart published my mystified take on the cult oddity After Last Season, which includes interviews I conducted with three of the actors. If you've never heard of the movie--well, I can't blame you, but here is the trailer, which is mesmerizing. The movie, not so much. You are under no obligation to watch the movie, but, seriously, watch the trailer. It may change your life. (Note: There are printers in the basement you can use.)

Another piece I wrote for CdC is this look at Michael Powell's They're a Weird Mob. Powell is one of my favorite directors, probably best known for The Red Shoes, Black Narcissus, and A Matter of Life and Death. This is one of his lesser movies, but his classics are just so widely analyzed it didn't make sense to write about them yet again. As far as I can tell, I may be the only person who has ever written about this movie. Sure, there's a reason for that, but still.

And, finally, my Twitter account is here, and my Letterboxd profile is here.

That's all, folks!

This blog post does not exist

So, those two pieces I wrote for issues 17 and 18 of the Cashiers du Cinemart zine have been posted online. My piece on the terrible movie After Last Season is here, and my article on how Michael Powell adapted the novel They're a Weird Mob is here.

And you imagined this blog post. Spooky, huh?

Hello? Is this thing on?

Sorry I didn't officially say "This blog is dead." But this blog is dead.

You can look for me on Twitter or Facebook.

But now that I have your attention:

I have a piece on Michael Powell's little-seen (in the U.S., anyway) They're a Weird Mob in the new issue of Cashiers du Cinemart. As far as I know, the film never been released here, but it is on YouTube (part one here and part two here).

Powell is my favorite director, and when I was asked to submit something to CdC #18, I knew wanted to write about him. But when I looked around, I found pretty much all of my favorites (including A Matter of Life and Death and I Know Where I'm Going!) had been analyzed to death and I didn't have much to add. But no one has written about They're a Weird Mob, that I could find. Sadly, the reason is: It's pretty bad. Nevertheless, Powell enthusiasts (and The Velvet Blog enthusiasts, if there are any) might be interested.

Also in the issue: Articles on the Johnny Rotten-starring Corrupt, the "tender side of Ulli Lommel," Harry Crews, Kubrick's The Killing, and the world's first porno-horror-comedy, Thundercrack! So it makes a great Easter gift.

There's a hard copy version available here, and a Kindle version available here.

It's a natural, natural, natural desire*

Haven't listened yet, but I see the new The Projection Booth podcast features a discussion of what has become my favorite bad movie, The Apple, with director Menahem Golan and star Catherine Mary Stewart.


*Meet an actual, actual, actual vampire.

My uncle stayed in the area last year. He showed me a picture.

Oh, After Last Season--you are truly the gift that keeps on giving.

Concerned reader God Is My Codependent noticed that the trailer embedded in my 2009 review of the oddball film After Last Season was "removed for copyright violations" from YouTube.

I did find another copy that had not been taken down:



But I also noticed that, mysteriously, a new trailer went up last spring, one that attempts (with only limited success) to make the decidedly crazy movie look more linear and conventional:



I can only assume that the producers, hoping to recoup some of the $5 million spent on this curiosity, are trying to persuade a distributor to release it and capture some of that sweet, sweet midnight-screenings-of-Birdemic cash. They even spent money on new graphics.

So far, no luck, as I see on the Amazon page that the DVD for After Last Season is no longer available.

But, oh, the comments of the film's supporters sure are enthusiastic, and not in an ironic reviews vein, either.

This one comes from Chris anr8:

This movie isn't the most visually stunning film.

I'm with you so far, Chris anr8!

With a budget of $5 million, the entire movie will not look like the recent Green Lantern film which costs about $200 million to make. But the movie has some very realistic and frightening moments created through special effects.

Well ... no.

It goes beyond being just a small thriller. The experience achieved by the movie is sometimes disturbing ...

True!

... and overall, it is magical.

And you lost me again.

You won't be able to tell the difference between what is real and what is not real by the middle of the movie.

And, again, true, if you mean reality in general and not this movie.

After Last Season starts out like a joke.

A bad, baffling movie walks into a bar ...

At the end of the movie, you begin to understand why some scenes and some sets appear so outrageous. After Last Season stars Jason Kulas (who plays Matt), Peggy McClellan (who plays Sarah), Scott Winters (Dr. Marlen), Casey McDougal (Anne), Joan-Marie Dewsnap, William York and Tristan Cole. In the future, the main characters are tied to some murders and use a new technology.

Actually, no. That's a dream. A dream that takes up about 40% of the movie and doesn't actually affect the plot at all.

They filmed the movie on 35mm and it is rated PG-13. The DVD has 5.1 surround sound (which is neat for many parts of the movie.).

Well, the weird sonic murk did freak out my dog several times.

This one from Alex 510 has the subject line "Nonstop entertainment":

From the opening, After Last Season starts to grab your attention. The movie doesn't resemble your standard movie. Events start to happen that are mysterious and baffling. You see a snapshot of the lives of the characters. Jason Kulas as Matt introduces you to a new world of technology. Peggy McClellan as Sarah shows you a dimension of technology that you have never seen before. They are fascinating. and for some of us who are young at heart or teenagers, humor is present in the story. The other actors like Scott Winters, Joan-marie Dewsnap and Casey McDougal are serious and funny. Great way to spend a Friday evening.

Lindsay says this is a "great way to escape your life":

Took a break and watched the movie. Loved the movie. A view of the future mixed with some thriller. I recommend it to anyone who wants to get away from their busy life or who wants to spend an evening watching a movie.

A breakthrough--how did producers never think of that before?! A movie that's intended to be watched!

James C. says it "keeps you on the edge of your seat":

Not a masterpiece. Not an action flick. Still has some action in it and it will keep you on the edge of your seat. Low budget movie with adrenaline. I wish I could have seen this movie inside a theater when it was released in 2009. The effects you get from the movie would have been ten times greater. Excellent DVD. Well worth the money.

In order to stay on the edge of your seat without falling off, please use a seatbelt. Otherwise, you may pass out and fall off.

But my favorite comes from J. Rollit:

After Last Season was not what I expected it to be. It appears to be something then as you watch it; ...

An incomprehensible attempt at making a movie by someone who has no idea how movies work?

it turns into something else.

A frog? No, wait .... I dreamed that.

It looks like the people behind the movie went out of their way to create a different kind of movie.

Yes. An unwatchable one.

Some scenes contain the simplest sets. The computer animation is primitive one moment and sophisticated in others. The special effects are plain and visible one minute and the next they are photo-realistic.

OK, now you're not even trying to be believable.

It seems like the director wanted to leave just enough clues in the dialogues and designs to tell the viewers what is going on. It looks like he may have left too few hints because if you don't pay attention to the dialogues, you can easily lose track of the plot. I watched the latest trailer on the official web site and that helped me understand what is going on.

Also, the magic mushrooms helped.

You know the names of some of the characters right away.

He's got me there. That really does help.

Needless to say, you don't have to understand the whole plot to be captivated by the movie. It is thrilling and scary just by watching it.

As opposed to say, thrilling and scary by just staring at the DVD case.

Thanks, J. Rollit! I look forward to your guest-hosting gig on Sneak Previews, but only because it's no longer on the air.

Satan ... Santa ... oh, whatever

Another repurposed post. Woo-hoo!


This excerpt from a 1959 Mexican documentary reveals that Satan and his imps really know how to cut a rug:



It may be true, as the saying goes, that the devil has all the best tunes. Now we know that he's also a Bob Fosse wannabe. (Jazz hands!)

There's a Mystery Science Theater 3000 version--part 1 is here--that's much more bearable than the original version.

TCM ran the un-MST3K'd version last year, and, let me tell you, it is virtually impossible to get through with sanity (and wakefulness) intact. There's a scene early on in which the children of the world greet Santa in sort of pageant of ethnic and racist cliches (here's the first 10 minutes of the original Spanish-language "Santa Claus"--check out the African children's presentation about 3 minutes in), and it's just endless. Truly, it hurts.

And, yes, I saw this at a matinee when I was small. The mouth on Santa's Magic Teletalker--2 minutes and 15 seconds into this English-dubbed clip--was nightmare fuel:

Shock and awful

Hey, Birdemic: Shock and Terror is on Netflix streaming!

Let's see what we're in for, and then liveblog watching this sucker!



This may be difficult. Well, here goes, as marked by time code.

00:01:30: Lots of driving. Lots and lots of driving. Perhaps a homage to the opening scenes of Manos: The Hands of Fate?

00:03:00: You know, if you're going to do a multiminute credit sequence, get enough score. The same complete piece has now played three times.

00:04:15: The lead actor cannot even walk convincingly. Has he ever walked before?

00:05:00: Oh, great, he's a stalker. And he's WAY out of his league. And he speaks worse than he walks.

00:07:15: Please tell me the fashion model he's hitting on has given him a fake phone number.

00:7:45: Is there an all-An Inconvenient Truth channel? All global warming news?

00:08:45: The score is now ripping off the theme to Chariots of Fire for another driving sequence.

00:11:00: "What does it take to win your business? I'll give you that AND 50% off!" I'm only vaguely acquainted with business, but if you meet what consumers want and knock 50% off, isn't that cutting into your profit margin?

00:11:30: The professional fashion model our hero has his eye on is having audition photos taken at a one-hour photo store. She should probably get her passport photo while she's there.

00:14:00: He: "How about dinner? I know a great Vietnamese restaurant."

She: "Great, I'll see you there." [Click!]

I'm hoping that she just blew him off, as she doesn't know the name of the restaurant, where it is, or when they're meeting. But I have the feeling the writer/director has never had a conversation before and doesn't know how they work.

00:16:00: More all-green news. On the stock footage, you can see a huge Getty Image watermark. Were these clips not paid for?

00:18:00: Natalie, the fashion model, has somehow been able to correctly guess the time and location of dinner.

00:19:00: "Why did you get into sales?" Worst conversation starter ever.

00:20:00: I cannot wait for the birds to show up and kill these two. Where the hell are they?

00:22:00: "If I could afford it, I'd have 10 cats." Now I don't know which character to feel sorrier for.

00:27:00: Do couples generally have sex while wearing bathing suits?

00:28:00ish: "We're going to be acquired by Oracle... for $1 billion!" Or Dr. Evil. Yeah, probably Dr. Evil.

00:29:00: How many takes were spliced together to form this endless clapping scene? And, why?

00:35:45: Upon seeing a painting:

He: "Oh, lovers on the moon."

She: "Yeah."

This has been your Art Criticism Minute of the Day.

00:37:35: The sound seems to have been recorded with the built-in mic on a home camera. I can't hear the dialogue over the ocean waves. Not that I'm complaining.

00:38:45: "Don't touch it--it might be infectious!" A useful sentence in many ways. The dead bird on the beach appears to be clip art.

00:40:00: Shorter mother's monolog: "My biggest hobby is interfering in my daughter's life."

00:42:15: Ooooo, he dances worse than walks. This song is really ratcheting up the tension.

00:44:00: Make it stop. Please make it stop.

00:45:00: When I said "Please make it stop," I didn't mean end that scene so that we could start a love scene instead.

00:47:15: At last, birdemic has begun! Birds have evidently gained the ability to blow up on impact.

00:48:30: And the ability to hover in midair.

00:49:30: And hide car keys?

00:51:00: Methinks coat hangers are not the best weapon against exploding birds.

00:52:15: Did I miss something? Are our heroes' new friends survivalist maniacs? Why do they have a machine gun and various other guns?

00:55:15: "I'm hungry! I've been under the car for a long time."

00:59:00: A picnic? Birds are diving bombing people and exploding on impact, and you're having picnic?

00:59:30: "Hey, look, it's an old guy on a bridge!" Does bird flu make birds explosive?

01:03ish: "Why can't we just give peace a chance?" BECAUSE BIRDS ARE ATTACKING US!!!!

01:04ish: If a film script asked me to die of bird attack while taking a dump, I'd pass.

01:07: "No, I don't want to get off this bus and be in your stupid movie! No!"

01:08: What was that? Now the birds kill by throwing up?

O1:09: Dead extras, we hardly knew ye.

01:11: Even when their parents have just recently been killed and birds are exploding all around them, kids still love candy.

01:13: If that's all it takes to die, I'd have killed myself while shaving.

01:18: "I hear a mountain lion! I'd better get back to my house. Nice meeting you!" Except for the killer birds, I mean.

O1:19: Only you can prevent terrible CGI forest fires.

01:21: Music now blatantly ripping off "Imagine" while a dead character sports an "Imagine peace" t-shirt. Just a little too on the nose. And plagiarismy.

01:24: She: "I've got some seaweed!"

[Pinteresque pause]

He: "Good!"

Seriously, you could have driven a truck through that pause.

01:27: Dialogue now completely inaudible. Brechtian device?

01:29: The birds have given up for some reason.

01:30: Last line completely indecipherable. Q: Why did the birds give up? A: The movie was over.

Tippi Hedren was in this somewhere?!

Wow... that was... wow.

You can safely assume his thumb is pointed downward

Part of an occasional series in which try to soften the sting of particularly harsh reviews by appending the phrase: "Garnish with Fluffernutter."

Why? Because we can.

Today's entry is from Roger Ebert's review of Battle: Los Angeles. Excerpt verbatim, except for the addition of Fluffernutter:

"Battle: Los Angeles" is noisy, violent, ugly and stupid. Its manufacture is a reflection of appalling cynicism on the part of its makers, who don't even try to make it more than senseless chaos. Here's a science-fiction film that's an insult to the words "science" and "fiction," and the hyphen in between them. You want to cut it up to clean under your fingernails. ...

Young men: If you attend this crap with friends who admire it, tactfully inform them they are idiots. Young women: If your date likes this movie, tell him you've been thinking it over, and you think you should consider spending some time apart. Garnish with Fluffernutter.

Mmmmmmm. Sweet, sweet Fluffernutter.

As opposed to a Galaxy in your driveway

For a long while, I've had a dim memory of receiving a 2001 comic book at Howard Johnson's. That doesn't really make sense, does it? I mean, have you seen that movie lately? It is, shall we say, slow. While I admire 2001 for reasons I can't quite explain (TVB regular God Is My Codependent, not a fan, has grilled me on this), 2001 is perhaps the least kiddie-friendly G-rated film ever. So, I must have dreamed the whole HoJo's tie-in, right?

Wrong. Yesterday, I stumbled over this:



The whole thing is here.

My primary point is: Movie execs had very odd ideas about what kids liked back then. In 1968, when 2001 opened and I was 6, I was a big fan of Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp and The Banana Splits. There is no way I could have made it through 2001. What the hell were they smoking?

My secondary point is: Pretty much everything is on the Internet, or will be soon.


(Correction: I see Lancelot Link didn't debut until 1970, but my point still stands.)

Satan ... Santa ... oh, whatever

Another repurposed post from last year. Woo-hoo!


This excerpt from a 1959 Mexican documentary reveals that Satan and his imps really know how to cut a rug:



It may be true, as the saying goes, that the devil has all the best tunes. Now we know that he's also a Bob Fosse wannabe. (Jazz hands!)

There's a Mystery Science Theater 3000 version -- part 1 is here -- but if you want to see all of the original, it's on TCM at 2:00 a.m. (That is, early Saturday morning.)

The Velvet Blog in 3D

It's been ages, but The Velvet Blog occasionally likes to soften the blow of particularly harsh film reviews by appending the phrase "Garnish with Fluffernutter."

Why? Because we can.

Today's poorly received film is Andrei Konchalovsky's The Nutcracker. Er, no, actually, it's The Nutcracker in 3D. Really, that's the official title. (I think it's a pretty solid rule of thumb that any movie that includes 3D as part of its official title is going to be rough going.)

Roger Ebert is somewhat taken aback:

From what dark night of the soul emerged the wretched idea for “The Nutcracker in 3D”? Who considered it even remotely a plausible idea for a movie? It begins with an awkward approximation of the story behind the Tchaikovsky ballet, and then turns it into a war by the Nutcracker Prince against the Holocaust.

Am I exaggerating? At one point, the evil Rat King (John Turturro) has his troopers snatch toys from the hands of children so they can be tossed into furnaces, and the smoke will emerge from high chimneys to blot out the sun.

Yes. And the rats are dressed in fascistic uniforms. Against them stand our heroine Mary (Elle Fanning) and her Christmas present, a nutcracker (voice of Shirley Henderson) that has imprisoned a handsome prince (Charlie Rowe). And two-legged helicopters swoop low over screaming children, and the city is laid waste, and the rats dream of world domination.

You may be in disbelief. I was. “The Nutcracker in 3D” is one of those rare holiday movies that may send children screaming under their seats. ...

Only one thing could have made this film worse, and they haven’t neglected it. That would be to present it in 3-D. They have.

Garnish with Fluffernutter.

Ouch. Not even my addition of Fluffernutter will help.

I leave you with The New York Times' explanation of the film's PG rating:

“The Nutcracker in 3D” is rated PG (Parental guidance suggested). No blood but quite a bit of suspense and violence, including an electrocuted shark and a decapitation.

Because nothing says Happy Holidays quite like an electrocuted shark. (Which, oddly, I don't remember from the stage production.)

In all fairness, Scrooge, the 1970 musical version of A Christmas Carol, scared the crap out of me when I was a kid.

There comes a time when even I must say "no"

Netflix makes recommendations based on what you've been watching. There's an upside and a downside to that. If you've been watching good movies, you're probably going to have other, similar movies recommended. If, on the other hand, you've been watching The Apple ... well, all bets are off. What I'm trying to say is, Netflix thinks the Village People musical Can't Stop the Music and I were made for each other.

I'd never seen it--it's reputation is tough to get by.* But, what the heck ... I made it through The Apple and After Last Season, so I can watch anything, right?

Well, no. No, I can't. I tried--really, I tried. But it was just so, so painful.

You win, movie.


*The Newsweek review, per Wikipedia: "Can't Stop the Music ushers in a whole new concept in entertainment--it's the first all-singing, all-dancing horror film; the Dawn of the Dead of the disco era."

From the ridiculous to the sublime

So sorry to have haunted your dreams with scenes from The Apple. To make up for it, here's the opening scene from my favorite great movie, Powell and Pressburger's A Matter of Life and Death:



I know I've run this clip before, but I'm posting again because AMOLAD was one of the topics under discussion in last week's Filmspotting podcast. (Thanks to TVB reader Posol'stvo for tipping me off to Filmspotting's P&P marathon.) If you won't take my advice, perhaps you'll listen to two guys with a podcast.

I'm always looking to add a good podcast into my rotation. Do recommend any off-the-beaten-track ones you listen to in comments. Thanks!

And, indeed, most movies stink to this day

Picture this: The year is 1960, and you're an advertising executive. You've been given the campaign for a movie produced by Mike Todd Jr., in a new process called Smell-o-Vision. In this amazing new cinematic wonder, various odors will waft through the movie theater, keyed in to visuals on the screen in Scent of Mystery: a load of bread, flowers, a pipe, etc.*

It's a groundbreaking idea--a true milestone.

So you sit down at your desk, determined to compare Smell-o-Vision to earlier breakthroughs: The first moving pictures. And the dawn of sound, of course.

Suddenly, it all comes together, and you've got the most amazing ad line ever:

FIRST They Moved
THEN They Talked
NOW They Smell

No, I'm not making this up:



*Since Mike Todd Jr. is not John Waters and this is not Polyester, there is no dog poop.

(Via the Mobius Home Video Forum, where I nabbed the image.)

(Oh, and this is a cross-post with Radosh.net.)

Cold comfort

Not really back. But I did watch John Schlesinger's film Cold Comfort Farm last night, and thought I'd share some choice lines, totally taken out of context, nabbed from IMDb.

Mrs. Smiling: It's bad to be dewy-eyed around smart people, but you can always secretly despise them.

Amos Starkadder: Seth, drain the well. There's a neighbor missing.

Amos Starkadder: You know what it's like when you burn your hand, taking a cake out of the oven, or lighting one of them godless cigarettes? And it stings with a fearful pain, aye? And you run to clap a bit of butter on it to take the pain away, aye? Well, I'll tell ye, there'll be no butter in hell!

Mybug: I do seem somewhat soaked in nature's fecund blessing.

Mybug: Miss Poste! Miss Poste! I'm engorgingly in love with you!

Flora Poste: Nature's all very well in her place, but she musn't be allowed to make things untidy.

Mrs. Smiling: In fact, when poetry is combined with ill-groomed hair and eccentric dress, it's generally fatal.

It's very British, as you probably guessed from the quotes. I'm sure I'll be using "There'll be no butter in hell!" as my slogan soon.

UPDATE: Cold Comfort Farm is available on Hulu, for free, but with commercials. Hmm. They took it down.

Suckage, hatred, and bad karma

Part of an occasional series in which try to soften the sting of particularly harsh reviews by appending the phrase: "Garnish with Fluffernutter."

Why? Because we can.

"Edge of Darkness," a thriller boasting Mel Gibson's first starring role in eight years, elicits a gigantic wow -- as in "Wow, does this movie suck." Garnish with Fluffernutter.

"Legion" is an absolute mess, a masochistic disaster with an overly-aggressive score, mediocre, uninspired acting and a subject matter it both wholeheartedly embraces and mocks without repute. It's one of those movies you just want to hate, you just have to hate, because deep down, you know it hates itself. Garnish with Fluffernutter.

One wonders what sins Jackie Chan could have committed in a single lifetime to warrant having an abomination like this pathetic excuse for a movie weighing down his karma. Garnish with Fluffernutter.

Hm. Well, there's only so much Fluffernutter can be expected to do.

Kinda busy

While I attempt to get through the coming few days without strangling anyone, you can spend your time watching Sita Sings the Blues, a remarkable, very entertaining animated film that its creator, Nina Paley, has posted in full on the Web. Just click on the "Watch It" tab at the site linked above. (It's the source of my current slogan, "Assemble the monkey warriors!")

Coming soon to a theater near you

According to the Onion AV Club, Hollywood is remaking Dune. I guess that's to be expected. It's a popular book (albeit one I failed to finish, despite two attempts), and David Lynch's version is widely reviled. (The made-for-cable TV version from a few years ago is decent, if obviously low budget.)

What caught my eye in AV's writeup, though, was not that news, but this:

[Peter] Berg, of Hancock fame, was previously set to direct, but has decided to work on the forthcoming adaptation of board game Battleship instead.

Yes, Battleship: The Movie. Furthermore, Ridley Scott -- the director of Blade Runner -- is attached to a film based on Monopoly. Clue may resurface as a film again. And a movie based on Candy Land is already in production. (Candy Land!)

Given my track record for suggesting ridiculously stupid reality show ideas that eventually come to pass, I've decided to turn to this lucrative market. Trouble is, I have no money to buy rights, so I'm stuck with the public domain.

My first project is Tic Tac Toe: The Motion Picture. First of all, who hasn't played Tic Tac Toe? 100% brand awareness! Globally! (I think, anyway! No time to check! Too busy using exclamation points in an attempt to create excitement!) Development work has already begun. TVB lurker Denise, associate producer, has already written the tagline: "X or O--The World Is Waiting." The movie isn't even made yet and already my throat is tight with suspense! Suspense and exclamation points!

If this works, I may option Pong. It's old, and I bet I can get the rights for a song. I'm thinking Johnny Depp as the left paddle. CGI Marlon Brando as the right paddle. Maybe Eddie Murphy in a fat suit as the ball.

Hey, worse movies have been made.

Typo of the day

Hmmm. Saw the trailer for a movie called Leap Year over the weekend. It looks dreadful (and keep in mind that January is the dumping ground for bad movies), so I won't bother linking to it. But what got me poking around the Web looking for information is that it's clearly either a remake or a rip-off of one of my all-time favorites, "I Know Where I'm Going!".

In the trailer for Leap Year, the heroine's plane is diverted to Wales, where she falls in love with someone other than her boyfriend. Which provoked this subject line from an IMDb user:

Nothing like cheating on your boyfriend in whales

To paraphrase Groucho Marx: Outside of a dog whale, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog whale, it's too dark to read. So you cheat on your boyfriend. (Or something.)

I still haven't been to the main market

10/4/14: Hey, I'm putting this update at the top because my Cashiers du Cinemart article on After Last Season is now online

I've taken down my review of After Last Season, because a much-expanded version--featuring original interviews with three of the actors--will be published in issue 17 of Cashiers du Cinemart, slated to be published in November.

More info forthcoming.

UPDATE: Issue #17 of Cashiers du Cinemart, featuring my article on After Last Season, is now available in a number of formats. Here's a link to the Kindle version, and here's a link to the print version. (The issue also features articles on Bloodsucking Freaks and the Findlays' Flesh trilogy, so it also makes a great Christmas gift. The print version has illustrations that the Kindle doesn't have, so I think it's worth the extra $3.)

UPDATE UPDATE: Other posts on the movie: On initially discovering the trailer. The reviews are in.