I know, I know, it's hard to pick, right? Still, I nominate this comment, on a story about a fake documentary on mermaids that aired on TV recently, and the fact that it fooled some people, leading to a denial in the existence of mermaids by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.
Interesting...IF NONE if its real, why do they go to sooooo much trouble to try to call it a hoax? When our Government is confronted about UFO's and aliens, they say the same thing...yet people all over the world have strange video and documentation to say otherwise. I am on the fence with the Mermain thing...but now it makes me beleive it a little bit more and its NOT so far fetched to think that there could have been some kind of breeding with aquatic life...if that's the only companion a human had. I personally would rather go without...but not all people are that way. I say anything is possible....
Congrats, Susie Kay--you're our winner!
UPDATE: Do read JohnnyB's ode to fish f@*#ing in comments.
UPDATE UPDATE: You want evidence, Susie Kay? Fine.
Part 5 of an end-times movie from the '70s. (The whole thing is chopped up on YouTube.) A dorm-mate dragged me to a showing of this sometime around '82. He took it very seriously. I remained unconvinced.
Like many New York bachelors, John Durant tries to keep his apartment presentable — just in case he should ever bring home a future Mrs. Durant. He shares the fifth-floor walk-up with three of his buddies, but the place is tidy and he never forgets to water the plants.
The one thing that Mr. Durant worries might spook a female guest is his most recent purchase: a three-foot-tall refrigerated meat locker that sits in a corner of his living room. That is where he keeps ...
His severed head collection? Andy Warhol's corpse? Organ meat and deer ribs?
... his organ meat and deer ribs.
Oh, dear God.
Anyway, the piece goes to posit that there's a NYC subculture devoted to "the caveman lifestyle," and I suggest we file this under "No, this is not an Onion article."
10/4/14: Hey, I'm putting this update at the top because my Cashiers du Cinemart article on After Last Seasonis now online
I've taken down my review of After Last Season, because a much-expanded version--featuring original interviews with three of the actors--will be published in issue 17 of Cashiers du Cinemart, slated to be published in November.
More info forthcoming.
UPDATE: Issue #17 of Cashiers du Cinemart, featuring my article on After Last Season, is now available in a number of formats. Here's a link to the Kindle version, and here's a link to the print version. (The issue also features articles on Bloodsucking Freaks and the Findlays' Flesh trilogy, so it also makes a great Christmas gift. The print version has illustrations that the Kindle doesn't have, so I think it's worth the extra $3.)
Welcome, visitors. It seems a number of you have wound up here after doing searches for After Last Season. Note that I eventually saw the film, and my review is here.
The K. Gordon Murray trailers I posted last week are -- inarguably, I think -- fascinating in their sheer oddness and exuberance. Sure, they look bad, but really, really fun-bad. Settle-down-on-the-couch-with-a-beer-and-a-large-bag-of-Doritos fun-bad. I'd love to see the movies themselves at some point, though I know I'll probably be disappointed.
But every once in a while, a film comes along that, while undeniably bad, appears to be more fun to be read about than seen.
The trailer for a film called After Last Season, made by the pseudonymous-sounding "Mark Region," has been online, including Apple's movie trailer site, since early April. It's spawned quite a bit of speculation online. Is it real? Is it yet another piece of viral marketing for some other film? An April Fool's Day joke that's lived beyond its use-by date?
Here's the trailer:
But I also noticed that, mysteriously, a new trailer went up last spring, one that attempts (with only limited success) to make the decidedly crazy movie look more linear and conventional:
Where does one even begin to deconstruct this? How does one start? With the MRI machine that's made out of cardboard boxes and deployed in what appears to be someone's bedroom? The non sequitur dialogue? The cutaway reaction shots signifying nothing? The CGI that appears to have come straight from somewhere in the late '80s? The moving plastic bins?
Why doesn't that woman go to the main market? Why are there printers in the basement? Should I really use them? I don't know!!!
Last weekend, honest-to-God 35-mm prints of After Last Season snuck into a few theaters in out-of-the-way places. No newspapers covered it, unsurprisingly, but a few brave souls have ventured forth to see it, and have lived to tell the tale. There's one review here, and another here.
But as fascinating as it is to read about such cinematic oddities (well, fascinating for anyone who owns a well-thumbed copy of Incredibly Strange Films, as I do), and despite the fact that I've watched this trailer at least 10 times, the thought of sitting through an hour and a half of this is more than my brain can handle.
UPDATE UPDATE: An interview with the director. It clears up a bit, but not a whole lot. That cardboard MRI?:
The way it happened, first we made the MRI, and it looked pretty good from far away. We couldn't tell it was made from cardboard or bits of plastic -- it also has plastic. But when you shoot with 35mm, and sometimes because of the light, some lines across the front of the MRI became visible. When we shot, we couldn't tell, but on film the lines are darker -- you see it's not a polished surface. That’s how the MRI came to be.
And the budget?
Filmmaker [Magazine]: In an earlier interview you stated that the film's budget was $5 million, which seems like a high number considering that you had a tiny shooting crew and only shot for five or six days. Is this number correct?
Region: It's correct. When we shot, the budget was $30,000 to $40,000, but to do those special effects and the computer animation, the budget went to that number.
Filmmaker: To $5 million?
Region: Yeah. And that also includes a few other things -- titles, lab costs.
To put that in perspective, the budget for one episode of Lost is around $4 million -- and that's high. Mr. Region needs to sue his special-effects house.
One of these live-action feature films, based on popular kids' books, is fake. Which?:
--Where's Waldo?, based on the completely plotless picture books about a guy in a striped shirt who might be hiding from the law or an ex-wife or something. It's not really clear. Whatever, people are looking for him in crowds.
--Walter, the Farting Dog, based on the picture-book series about a flatulent family pet. Disney's Jonas Brothers are attached to this project, to be helmed by the Farrelly Brothers (gross-out kings behind the distinctly R-rated There's Something About Mary).
--Everybody Poops, based on the how-to manual for children, with illustrations of animals and people pooping. Will Ferrell is attached to this project; director Spike Jonze (Being John Malkovich, the upcoming Where the Wild Things Are) has expressed interest, but has not yet signed.
This complete set of underwater activities allows you to train your pet fish to perform a series of agility maneuvers, including swimming through hoops, pushing a soccer ball, navigating a slalom course, and more.
Were you aware that there is cable-TV game show called Hurl? It goes like this: 1) Two young men eat. 2) They are then attached to contraptions that twirl them up, down, and sideways. 3) The person to throw up first is the loser.
Although one might argue that civilization is the bigger loser.
Barry Manilow has scored his first No. 1 album in 29 years with "The Greatest Songs of the 50's" (Arista)--featuring tunes like "Unchained Melody" and "Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing"--which sold 156,000 copies in its first week, according to Nielsen SoundScan. His last album to reach the peak position on the Billboard chart was "Live" in 1977. --The New York Times
Oh, please. The next thing you'll try to tell me is that the guy who sang "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" will have three hit albums singing the "American songbook." It'll be a cold day in hell before that happens.
--Several times over the last few months, The Velvet Blog has forecast the end of the world, based on signs such as the appearance of TV shows like Date My Mom, but the apocalypse has not yet happened. TVB regrets the error. However, Fox in January will be broadcasting a program in which a woman who was given up for adoption as a baby has to pick out her real biological father from a group of imposters, so we are very hopeful the apocalypse will be happening early in 2005.
--The Velvet Blog repeatedly forecast John Kerry's victory. George W. Bush won, and TVB deeply, deeply regrets that error, and, indeed, the errors of approximately 52% of the country.
--The Velvet Blog implied that the Republican National Committee had pictures of Sen. John McCain fucking a goat in order to blackmail him into endorsing Pres. Bush's re-election. This was incorrect. The RNC actually had pictures of Sen. McCain screwing a small sheep. The mistake seems understandable, but TVB regrets it anyway.
--The Velvet Blog stated that Sen. Zell Miller has rabies. This is not true, and TVB regrets the error. Sen. Miller is actually just a fucking nutjob.
--In the wake of Jon Stewart's comments on Crossfire, The Velvet Blog repeatedly stated that host Tucker Carlson is a dick. TVB regrets the error. Mr. Carlson is, in fact, just a wanker.
--The Velvet Blog recently implied that Yanni was overplayed on PBS during pledge drives. Actually, Yanni is also overplayed as background music for folding laundry. TVB regrets the error.
--The Velvet Blog said that the "pie goo" is not a technical baking term. Actually, it must be, as someone recently found this site by Googling the term "goo pie." And if that refers to something nasty rather than the makings of pecan pie, TVB really, really regrets the error, but doesn't want to hear about it.
Description, from MTV's web site, of a new program. No, I'm not making this up, though I wish I were.
MTV is taking dating to a whole new level with Date My Mom. Each episode features a different brave guy looking for love in the weirdest place...on dates with three different moms. He's not looking to hook up though, he's spending time with the moms to discover everything he can about their daughters. Our brave guy's job is to try and guess just how far the apple did fall from the tree. He won't be able to see a picture of the daughters on his dates, so he'll have to work hard to get the truth out of the moms. In the end, everyone meets up on the beach to hear his decision. This is the spot where he'll finally get to see what these daughters look like. Will he pick a hottie or will he be hurtin? Check out all of the action on Date My Mom.
Sigh. This is wrong on so many different levels.
(By the way, when I wrote a few months ago about an idea for a reality show called Who Wants to Hump My Mom?, I was kidding.)
