Friday, December 12, 2008

Back to work on the Christmas gift list

First, imagine what it would be like if your face could do sit-ups.

This may take a while. I'll wait. Doot doot doot doot dee dooot ... OK, you caught up yet? Great!

Now, imagine what it would be like if a state-of-the-art device would do those facial sit-ups for you!

Well, imagine no more. Presenting Rejuvenique, perfect for the tough-to-please aging ex-Dynasty star on your holiday shopping list:

Mom, I hope you're not reading this, because otherwise the surprise will be spoiled.


Foodie Writes... said...

Oh...sure...I can imagine what EIGHT sit-ups a SECOND would do to my abs...or anyone else's for that matter...

Your muscles would be in such a state of overexertion that you'd probably end up in the ER...or feel like you should be.
Especially if the muscles are unaccustomed...that can lead to rhabdomyolsis.

Rhabdomyolysis is the rapid breakdown of skeletal muscle tissue due to injury to muscle tissue. The destruction of the muscle leads to the release of the breakdown products of damaged muscle cells into the bloodstream; some of these, such as myoglobin, are harmful to the kidney and may lead to acute kidney failure.

So oh yeah! Totally sign me up for something that's going to do that to my FACE!

And don't even get me started on the whole electrical impulse thing...

Deodand said...

Thanks man, that mask scared the shit out of me. I thought that woman was going to fall on the floor twitching and screaming with smoke pouring out of her eye-holes.

Jim Donahue said...

That tracking shot into the eyehole gives me shivers. There's an old B&W French horror film, with the English title "Eyes Without a Face," that shot seems cribbed from.

God Is My Codependent said...

A tiny 9-volt battery? Is that substantially different from a giant 9-volt battery?

And isn't that the same voltage as six AA batteries wired together?