Part of an occasional series in which we improve depressing or odd descriptions of vanity press books advertised in The New York Times Book Review by adding the phrase "Wacky high jinks ensue" at the end of them. Ad copy verbatim (except for the high jinks) from the Jan. 23 issue:
Marbles of Pearl: A book of classics. A timeless collection of poetry, and an operatic rhapsody. This is [name redacted]'s Marbles of Pearl: Tale of the Satyr. Delve into his poetry and appreciate the written word once more. Wacky high jinks ensue.
This sounds like repurposed ad copy for General Foods International Coffee. "Delve into Suisse Mocha and appreciate instant chocolate-flavored coffee powder with dehydrated milk solids once more."
Called, Chosen, Anointed, Appointed and Sent by God: Are you one of the Called, Chosen, Anointed, Appointed and Sent by God? [Name redacted] offers an instrument to empower everyone involved in ministry operations. This effective tool assists all faithful believers with a five-fold ministry calling. Wacky high jinks ensue.
Anyone who decides he's been called, chosen, anointed, and appointed by God is definitely a tool of some sort.