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The Velvet Blog responds to your search queries:

crazy clown tattoos
--Really, isn't any clown tattoo a crazy clown tattoo?

does muller vitality make you fart
--I'm just going to take a wild stab at this, and say yes. Yes, it does.

the cutest monkey in the world
--When you find this, please leave a link. Thanks!

squirrel phil collins
--I like Squirrel Phil Collins much more than Person Phil Collins.

spiderman true power
--Injuring actors.

current egyptian eating utensils
--Thing are moving so quickly there, I'm going to guess the spork. It saves time.

random shit
--Yeah, pretty much.