Is it the debt ceiling? Terrorist threats? A missing blond girl?
No. Concerned reader God Is My Codependent points out the story of a man dressed as a banana attacking a man dressed as a gorilla.
I highlight this mainly because ... well, it doesn't happen every day. Plus, it gives headline writers free rein. A few examples:
Banana at large after fight with gorilla
Banana attacks gorilla then splits
Banana Attacks Gorilla, Ohio in Shock
Police Called After Banana-Man Attacks Gorilla-Man in Ohio
Banana Attacks Gorilla, Currently on the Loose
Ohio Cops in Search of Violent Banana
Police: Banana Attacked Gorilla
Most weirdly specific:
Banana-suited man attacks gorilla-suited man