Friday, October 28, 2011

Currently trending on Yahoo

I'm going to guess Adolph is on the next season of Dancing with the Fascists. Marie probably has a new doll line. But that's just a guess.











Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Your social media at work


McDonald's is paying to have #McRib be a promoted hashtag at Twitter. Let's see what comments Mickey D's is paying for:
I have never and will never have a #McRib.

whoever actually goes to mickey d's and buys #McRib should kill der self cuz dat #McRib sure will

Let me know when McDonald's comes out with a McFilet Mignon. The #McRib doesn't even sound tasty!

@McRibSandwich <<< The filthiest sandwich you need to follow on Twitter.

My dog doesnt even like the #McRib

The McRib Is Back—Dear God, Why?!

The return of the #McRib always reminds me of the Krusty Burger Ribwich jingle: "I don't mind the taste!"

The infamous #McRib is back. The same #McRib made from hobbit shavings and moldy bread.

And, my personal favorite, from @ApexToApex:
It's interesting how #McRib and #LindsayLohanPosingNudeinPlayboy are both trending, because they're pretty much the same thing.


UPDATE: Concerned reader God Is My Codependent shares this McRib McInformation:
Restructured meat products are commonly manufactured by using lower-valued meat trimmings reduced in size by comminution (flaking, chunking, grinding, chopping or slicing). The comminuted meat mixture is mixed with salt and water to extract salt-soluble proteins. These extracted proteins are critical to produce a “glue” which binds muscle pieces together. These muscle pieces may then be reformed to produce a “meat log” of specific form or shape. The log is then cut into steaks or chops which, when cooked, are similar in appearance and texture to their intact muscle counterparts.

Mmmmmm... meat log...












Monday, October 24, 2011

Camping, out


Well, I thought I was Raptured, but it turned out I merely had too many Raptures.

So, what's the fallout from the latest nonevent? From the (really quite lousy, and I can't figure out why it seems to do so well in Google rankings) International Business Times:
"The Bible says that if someone makes a prophecy that doesn't come true he is to be considered a false prophet and stoned to death," Robert Jeffress, senior pastor of Dallas First Baptist Church, told The Christian Post. "Harold Camping has made at least three false prophecies about the day of the Rapture. And so, if he's not going to be stoned to death, he at least needs to be muzzled."

Is it just me, or do you sense some rather great ambivalence in that final "if"?
Family Radio has been broadcasting a message to supporters on Saturday, a day after Camping's third prediction, encouraging them to keep making donations.

Or, to save time, just set your cash on fire.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Don't get left behind


As noted in the post below, the rapture, as predicted by Harold Camping, has been rescheduled.

On the date of the last, sadly postponed rapture, I created a cocktail to celebrate--called, of course, The Rapture. As the new date grows closer, I now share it with you.

The Rapture

1-1/2 ounce vodka
1 ounce Cointreau (or triple sec)
1 ounce grapefruit-pomegranate juice blend
3/4 ounce lemon juice

Shake with ice and strain. Enjoy.











Monday, October 17, 2011

Link dump


Remember the rapture that didn't happen in May? Now it's scheduled for Oct. 21.

Kinder Morgan should really buy Gentler Industrial to form Kinder, Gentler Morgan. Because that would be funny.

Dogs in motion. (Via Biomes.)

Do androids dream of electric authors? I don't care if these fake books are priced as high as $80, how many could the publisher possibly sell? Where's the profit?

This book on the sorts of products that get sold in comic books looks fun. (I had that hovercraft. And Sea Monkeys, of course.)

And may I just add: Hahahahaha.

I hate to break this to you, but you missed National Chocolate Covered Insects Day.

Prepare to have your mind blown.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The apostrophe must be cherished


I was investigating a rather expensive local restaurant online, and when I spotted "Fire Roasted Tomato's" (sic) on the menu, I decided I didn't want to eat there. Is that unfair? If it were a cheapo local joint, it wouldn't bother me so much.

This is not a joke--it was one of those Groupon-type deals, I had my cursor heading toward the Buy Now button, and I lost my appetite.

Yes, I realize this is completely unreasonable. But standards are standards.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

Look away, or, The Velvet Blog continues to not understand the South


I was shopping for a new wallet on Amazon when I discovered ... this: Southern Confederacy Rebel Pride Leather Wallet: Pride Of The South by The Bradford Exchange.
Let's take a look at the details:
Rebel Pride!

We're two words into the description, and already I'm flummoxed. Might was well keep going, though.
Exclusive Southern Confederacy Pride Leather Wallet Features Stirring Artwork of General Lee on the March - Renowned artist John Paul Strain's portraiture of the revered General Lee captures a glorious moment in Civil War history.

I have to be honest--I don't remember all that much about the Civil War from my high school studies, and I haven't read much about it since then. I do know Lee marched into Pennsylvania to attack Union forces and suffered a terrible defeat. Is that the march that's a glorious moment in Civil War history? I don't get why that would be celebrated. But, hey, let's move on.
Now, a Southern Confederacy pride leather wallet lets you carry memories of Lee with you wherever you go. This custom-designed wallet is crafted of genuine, hand-tooled black leather for long-lasting wear. Open the wallet to discover the words "Pride of the South" embossed into the leather alongside the CSA insignia and colorful Confederate flag art. Nothing says Rebel like this Southern Confederacy pride leather wallet, only from The Bradford Exchange.

Well, "KKK" might say something like it.
Ample pockets inside allow room for cash and cards.

Oh, I do hope you're carrying Confederate cash in that wallet. Please, please.
A clear pocket window provides convenient ID access. This Rebel pride gift is likely to generate unprecedented demand, and you won't want to miss out. Order now!

Yes, I demand ... that you not buy me this for Christmas. Demand, I tell you.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Postcard of the day

July 6 [1928]

Dear Lempe [sp?]:

I had a nice trip and found everything fine. My father is feeling better. Hope you and [??] have a nice vacation.

Love to all-
Alice May


I could use some help on this one. I'd swear I'd posted another card to this same recipient, but now I can't find. Lempe?? And the other name is a complete mystery. Looks like Loodles. (Click to embiggen.)


Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Helloween


A rerun from October 2009. Why? Because I can. And it's timely.

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingMommy, why is the kitty #&$@ing a pumpkin?

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingMommy, the patients from the burn unit at the hospital are here.

Photobucket - Video and Image HostingMommy, there's something about the shape of the tombstone that's making me extremely uncomfortable.












Monday, October 03, 2011

It's so watery ... yet there's a smack of ham to it!


It's link dump time--odds and ends I've posted on Facebook, but not here because I didn't really have anything to add:

Mitch Hurwitz says there's a new limited-run series of Arrested Development episodes AND a movie in the works, though there are some rights issues to clear up.

I'm seriously loving the new Pugwash album.

I just discovered the Third Coast Festival podcast. It's really good--sort of like This American Life, but with an international scope.

Stumbled over this 2005 New York Times story about the movie theater in Riverhead, N.Y, the town where I grew up. It's one of those old art deco theaters you rarely see anymore--it never got chopped up into a multiplex, but it's been closed since the '80s. The article mentions that renovation is under way, but guess what? It's still closed. I have no idea what happened. I'm posting this because of the photos--just look at that tile work. If the renovation ever happens, it will be a stunner.

When you need cheering up, go to this photo of sleeping pandas.

An interview with The Daily Show's John Oliver.