Rush Limbaugh fun facts

Politico has posted an article entitled "10 little-known Rush Limbaugh facts." Oddly, the site has left out the best parts. The italicized items below are--I swear--from the Politico article:

Enjoys scented candles, and has them lit daily in his Palm Beach home.

Even littler-known fun fact: His favorite candle scent is "bile."

During the Vietnam War, after initially holding a 2-S college deferment, he was reclassified as 1-Y--qualified for military service only in time of national emergency--for a pilonidal cyst on or near the cleft of his buttocks.

Even littler-known fun fact: This cyst currently hosts "The Rush Limbaugh Show."

Due to his loss of hearing and the need for a cochlear implant, Limbaugh cannot listen to music he wasn’t familiar with before 2001.

Even littler-known fun fact: He also cannot consider attitudes about women and minorities from after 1950.

First job was shining shoes at the Varsity Barber Shop in Cape Girardeau, Missouri, where he was born.

Even littler-known fun fact: This has given him an uncommon insight into the problems of the working man. Hahahahahaha! I kid! I kid!

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas officiated his third wedding. (Limbaugh is currently married to his fourth wife, Kathryn Rogers.)

Even littler-known fun fact: Wife number five is currently being bred in a laboratory. Rush's pilonidal cyst will officiate.