Coming soon from Hollywood: Dark reimaginings of third-tier childhood favorites

Little Lulu: Step Up 2 Reform School: When a prank on Tubby Tompkins goes sour (leading to face transplant for Tubby), Lulu is sent to for-profit reform school, where she is tormented by one of the owners, a nephew of the Koch brothers.

Top Cat: The Cat Who Shagged Me: After it's pointed out that he's a total ripoff of The Phil Silvers Show, Top Cat isolates himself in his apartment and slowly goes insane. After it's pointed out that this, in turn, is a ripoff of Roman Polanski's Repulsion, Top Cat enters into a spiral of degradation, which ends when he becomes male prostitute aimed at the cosplay market.

Richie Rich: Get Rich or Die Trying: Richie meddles with the Cali drug cartel and dies.