Breaking! Must credit The Velvet Blog!

Mr. Romney's team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August. --The New York Times

Through tough journalistic tactics the lamestream media gave up long ago, The Velvet Blog has uncovered Romney's zingers for the first debate:

How proud you were when they named you America's best ... then you found out they meant America's beast!

I always wanted to write a book about you Cynthia Mr. President, but somebody beat me to it. He wrote "The Hounds of the Baskervilles."

I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee, and Molly Picon.

I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep. He dreams he's working.

I listened to Jack Benny on the radio last night. He was so funny I dropped my pad and pencil.

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

That's a vicious rumor! A rumor started by a few million people.

If evolution works, why do mothers only have two hands?

That's your little joke? Don't worry! We'll mop it up later.


(My Deep Throat source. Shhhh.)