Speed

Took some photos from the passenger seat of a car going highway speed at night. I really like the way these came out, especially the top one. (Doesn't it look as if there are musical notes hanging in the air?)

Seriously--what are you doing Saturday night?

Yeah, you--that person in Melville who visits regularly but never leaves a comment? You're 20 minutes away, for pete's sake. The folks in NYC who stop by occasionally? C'mon--Bay Shore is an hour away by train.

Come see me at the Eclectic Cafe on Saturday. Just don't laugh at how gray my beard has gotten since that photo was taken.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Smackdown!: Alito vs. Mojito

Samuel Alito

Pros: While President Bush's nominee for the Supreme Court was a student at Princeton, he helped lead a conference on privacy and said: "No private sexual act between consenting adults should be forbidden."

Cons: If appointed to the Supreme Court, thought to be the most far-right-wing Justice ever. Likely to overturn Roe v. Wade.

Mojito

Pros: Likely to spur the initiation of private sexual acts between consenting adults. Also, it's very refreshing.

Cons: Too many, and you might actually need the protection of Roe v. Wade.


Winner: Mojito--did I mention it's very refreshing?


Recipe for a mojito:

3 parts light-dry rum
12 yerba buena or mint leaves
1/2 lime
2 dashes bitters
simple syrup (can be made at home with equal parts sugar and water, boiled)
crushed ice

The mint leaves should be crushed with a mortar and pestle. Mix everything together and serve.


Information on Alito and recipe for mojito courtesy Wikpedia.

Clue that both of your local PBS affiliates are in the midst of pledge-week hell

One is showing "Doo-Wop Extravaganza" and the other is airing "The Best of '50s Pop."

Can "Yanni: Live at the Apocalypse" and "Andre Rieu: Waltz with Schmaltz" be far behind?

Ugh.

Reasons to like Christmas

1) There are really good cookies.

2) I like getting presents.

3) Only time of year you're likely to play "Santa Claus, Go Straight to the Ghetto," perhaps the best Xmas song ever.

Why do birds suddenly appear every time I am near?

Because I'm completely covered in birdseed. Really--try it.

So if I understand the new administration strategy for winning in Iraq...

... it involves, um, winning in Iraq?

Am I missing anything?

"It's my party, and I'll lie if I want to"

Vice President Cheney protested yesterday that he had been misunderstood when he said last week that critics of the White House over Iraq were "dishonest and reprehensible."

What he meant to say, he explained to his former colleagues at the American Enterprise Institute, was that those who question the White House's use of prewar intelligence were not only "dishonest and reprehensible" but also "corrupt and shameless."

It was about as close as the vice president gets to a retraction. --Dana Milbank in the Washington Post

I just want to clear up a misconception, too. When I said Vice President Cheney was dishonest, reprehensible, corrupt, and shameless, what I meant was that he's dishonest, reprehensible, corrupt, shameless, and when he was young, he was so ugly that his mother had to hang a pork chop around his neck to get the dog to play with him.

Glad I could clear that up.

Misty watercolor memories

Many years ago, I worked at a publishing house that had a consulting editor named Congdon. The young woman from HR who sometimes sat at the reception desk consistently called him Mr. Condom. She was completely oblivious to this, and it wasn't a joke on her part.

She'd call me and say, "Mr. Condom is here to see you." And I'd reply, "Oh, Mr. Congdon is here, is he?" And she'd say, "Yes, that's right, Mr. Condom is here."

I didn't have the heart to correct her.


UPDATE: Hmm. For the subject line of this post, I wanted to quote from the song "The Way We Were." I assumed the line was "misty watercolor memories." That is, like a watercolor painting. Judging by a Google search, most people think it's "misty water-colored memories," which means memories the color of water. That doesn't make much sense.

Barbra, I know you're a loyal reader, so please clarify.

Emotional rescue

Let me tell you, it's been a real emotional roller-coaster around here lately! First, I received some truly shocking news. Believe it or not, I found out ... No, that's wrong. It hasn't been an emotional roller-coaster, exactly. I mean, what's that, really? You get in a nice safe car and you go up and down, but you're never in any real sort of peril, right?

It's been more like the whirling tea-cup ride, like at Disney World. What's the name of that? The Mad Hatter's Tea Party, I think. You get in, and then whoever's in the tea cup with you spins the thing around so fast that the G forces push back your cheeks like you see on astronauts' faces on takeoff and you think all the skin is going to peel off their skulls because there's just no freakin' way that a body could take all that punishment, or maybe your neck will just snap right off! SNAP!!! Yeah, that's it--it's been emotional Mad Hatter's Tea Party.

What was I saying? Oh, yeah ... my appalling news! Really, you will NOT believe this! I found out ... now, get ready for this ... No, no, no. That's still not right. What's the game where you keep hitting rodents with mallets? Smash-the-Rat? Flatten-the-Squirrel? ... Whack-a-Mole! Yes, that's exactly what it's been: an emotional Whack-a-Mole game!

So, back to the story. I found out--and, trust me, this is going to curl your hair and knock your socks off--oh, dammit, I'm telling this all wrong!

Now that I've had a little time to think things over more, it's really been more like an emotional Tilt-a-Whirl. You know, you get strapped into this big apparatus, and it starts spinning, and the floor drops out, and people start screaming and losing that extra-large Diet Pepsi with Lime and corn dog with extra relish they just gulped down and they just want to die or at the very least stop spinning. Yes, that is it! An emotional Tilt-a-Whirl!

Where was I? Oh, right. So--and I really, can we keep this just between us? Because I really don't this news to get around-- ... eh, I'm still not capturing this. I guess it's really more like an emotional It's a Small World After All. Man, aren't those dolls just the creepiest? Definitely not an emotional Country Bears Jamboree, though--jeez, that's completely wrong. An emotional Sleeping Beauty's Enchanted Castle? An emotional Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?

... No, it was definitely an emotional roller-coaster.

Never mind.

Quote of the day

We have so much in common. We both like soup. And the outdoors, and snow peas. We can talk or not talk about anything for hours and still never run out of things to not talk about.

Whoever IDs the source of that quote first gets a gold star.