Thriller

Disney World on Wednesday reopened a thrill ride that was closed when a 16-year-old British girl almost died of cardiac arrest after riding it. ... An elderly, diabetic woman also died in February after riding the Magic Kingdom's "Pirates of the Caribbean," but the medical examiner said her death "was not unexpected." --The Associated Press

What the story leaves out is that her diabetes was caused by going on the It's a Small World ride too many times. (There--you're going to have that damned song stuck in your head all day, and it's my fault. Sorry.)

Rule of thumb: If the Pirates of the Caribbeann ride is too thrilling for you, definitely avoid the Whirling Teacups. I nearly had my neck snapped on that #*$@&!! one.

In related news (albeit old news, as the dateline is from last October):

Disneyland skippers on the Jungle Cruise ride are once again armed, but not dangerous. It's part of the company plan to "restore the magic" in the California theme park.

For more than 40 years, drivers had fired blanks at mechanical hippos that appeared to be charging the boat in the fake Amazon River.

That stopped in 2001, a change a former skipper said was a nod to "political correctness." But now, the skippers are getting their guns back, and are again free to open fire. --ABC12.com

Blanks? They're blanks??? Then it's true--the terrorists have won.