Pick the real news story

One of these is real. Really.

A) A couple in a suburb of Chicago have been charged with child abuse for deliberately speaking only Klingon in front of their child, in an attempt to make that Star Trek language his first. "We were going to teach him English later," the father has protested. "What's the big deal?"

B) A man dressed up as Darth Vader, wearing a garbage bag for a cape, was charged with assaulting the founders of a Welsh group calling itself the Jedi church and was given a suspended sentence last week. The group, which claims about 30 members, says on its Web site that it uses "insight and knowledge" from the films as "a guide to living a better and more worthwhile life." The accused assailent claimed he couldn't remember the incident, having drunk the better part of a 2-1/2-gallon (10-liter) box of wine beforehand.

C) A man in rural New Zealand has legally changed his name to Bilbo Baggins and has built an exact replica of the fictional Baggins' home, as seen in Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy. About half of the home's furnishings are actual props used in the films. The newly monikered Mr. Baggins has approached several doctors about the possibilty of having his legs surgically shortened, but has been turned down by all.