Friday, July 18, 2008

"Garnish with Fluffernutter."

If you've been reading The Velvet Blog for a while (and really--if not, why not?), you know that we have an occasional series in which we improve depressing (or odd) descriptions of vanity press books by adding the phrase "wacky high jinks ensue."

Today, at the suggestion of concerned reader God Is My Codependent, we begin a new series, in which we lighten the blow of negative film reviews by the addition of the phrase "Garnish with Fluffernutter." Let's see how this works.

We set out on this brave experiment by using today's review in The New York Times of Mamma Mia! It's not exactly the worst review in the world, but, rather, the very definition of the "mixed review":
If you insist on folding your arms, looking at your watch and defending yourself against this mindless, hedonistic assault on coherence, you are unlikely to survive until the end credits (which may, by themselves, kill you all over again). Surrender, on the other hand, is easy and painless. It’s Greece! It’s bellybuttons! It’s Meryl Streep! It’s Abba! Garnish with Fluffernutter.

Success!

(Oh, and in case you're unfamiliar with the Fluffernutter, you obviously weren't a part of The Velvet Blog's childhood.)

4 comments:

punkinsmom said...

Liar. :D

Jim Donahue said...

Hmmm. In my defense, Marshmallow Fluff was always in the house. God only knows what we did with it.

punkinsmom said...

Ewwwwwwwww!

Posolxstvo I said...

I was practically raised on fluffernutters. When I had kids of my own, I tried to hook them. They, being proper postmodern offspring of an aging Generation X-er, produced their own take on it -- dispensing with the peanut butter, and sticking strictly with the Fluff. Sometimes even skipping the bread. I'm still unsure whether I think this is progress or regress. Or perhaps digress?