If sock monkeys wrote Pride and Prejudice and Sock Monkeys

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man sock monkey in possession of a good fortune banana must be in want of a wife another banana.

However little known the feelings or views of such a man sock monkey may be on his first entering a neighbourhood rain forest, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

"My dear Mr. Bennet," said his lady to him one day, "have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?"

Mr. Bennet replied that he had not.

"But it is," returned she; "for Mrs. Long has just been here, and she told me all about it."

Mr. Bennet made no answer.

"Do not you want to know who has taken it?" cried his wife impatiently.

"You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it."

This was invitation enough.

"Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Long says that Netherfield is taken by a young man sock monkey of large fortune from the north of England; that he came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it that he agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that he is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of his servants monkey butlers are to be in the house by the end of next week."

"What is his name?"

"Bingley S. Monkey."

"Is he married or single?"

"Oh! single, my dear, to be sure! A single man sock monkey of large fortune; four or five thousand bananas a year. What a fine thing for our girls!"