Friday, July 24, 2009

Something I learned from the full-page ad for the movie Orphan in today's Times and the questions it raises

"Horror has a new name, and it's Esther."

I wonder how Horror came to pick this new name. Was Horror trying to sound like someone's 80-year-old aunt?

I also wonder how inconvenient the process was. Did Horror have to go to the DVM and get a new license? How about her Social Security card? Credit cards? What about Horror's birth certificate? If Horror ... er, if Esther runs for elected office, will bloggers claim she isn't eligible and where the hell is the vault copy of her birth certificate?

Frankly, this sounds like a pain in the neck, and, in sum, I wonder if Esther has really thought this through.

4 comments: said...

I always wondered: do the undead need Undeath Certificates?

ChefNick said...

Hmm. The physical process of renaming Horror with "Esther", while disturbing, is intriguing, in the way that Cheez Whiz always seems to end up in the back seat of a Cadillac.

Horror has a very ancient and sound pedigree, and its name, in my opining, should not be changed lightly.

That being said, however, "The Esther that presented itself at the crash scene was beyond belief" has a certain ring to it. Gotta admit.

Will said...

Who knew that the Jewish holiday of Purim, the Feast of Esther, was really the FEAST OF HORROR?

If you ever ate a prune hamentaschen, you would understand.

ChefNick said...

Uh, very nice to meet you, Will!

But while many prunes would like to be my friends, I've never yet met one I didn't like.

And I MUCH prefer Passover. More wine.