What to do when you're done teabagging

Did you Go Galt ... and no one noticed? Your Ayn Rand t-shirt provoke more eye-rolling than cheers?

Time for a new Libertarian hero! Something that really sums up the movement!

Hey, I know, how about a feral pig?

MIAMI — Thomas Paine and Ayn Rand, make way for Porky. Or is it Wilbur?

Arnold Ziffel! Arnold Ziffel!!

No one really knows what to call the 150-pound pig roaming free in Panama City, Fla., but by eluding the authorities for five months, shaking off a Taser and four tranquilizer darts on Tuesday, the porker has become more than just swine.

The pig is now a local libertarian hero. Supporters describe the animal as a freedom-loving outlaw with a taste for corn. His Facebook page lists more than 200 fans, like Mary K. Sittman, who asked this week, “Is the pig a symbol of our desire to live free of government controls? ...”

Uh ... OK, I would have gone with "symbol of our squealing inner piggishness," but sure! Go for it!

In an interview, Ms. Sittman said the pig, which lives in a lush, muddy park near her home, had “to be a real survivor.” It is this independence, she said, that appeals to residents in her mostly conservative area in the Florida Panhandle.

The pig is also frugal fun. “Now we have something free to do on a hot summer night,” said Ms. Sittman, 62, a real estate developer semiretired by the recession. “We can go pig-spotting.”

I have nothing to add here, actually.

Local officials, though, see the pig as more of a hogzilla in the making.

Jim Crosby, division manager for Bay County Animal Control, said the pig charged him and his deputies on Monday and nearly tore a chunk of flesh from their calves. A woman walking her dog near the park on Thursday reported that the pig also rushed her.

“It has been fed by people and chased by some teenagers,” Mr. Crosby said, adding, “We are afraid the pig could hurt humans or could run into the road and get hit by a car.”

Ms. Sittman was somehow unpersuasive. But Mr. Crosby has won me over.