The Velvet Blog has been following the nonapology apology trend--that is, wishy-washy attempts at sounding like you're apologizing when you really aren't--in public discourse for a while now. But I'm here to declare that those days are over. Now, being a totally unapologetic asshat is all the rage.
Let's start with a master: Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. The unholy combination of Rupert Murdoch, Hugh Hefner, and an unneutered feral tomcat made headlines recently (well, in the only two Italian news outlets he doesn't own, apparently) after it came to light that he had sprung from police custody a 17-year-old Moroccan runaway who previously had spent time at his villa.
From the AP report:
"I've got nothing to clarify," Mr. Berlusconi said Friday. "I'm a playful person, full of life. I love life, I love women. ... Nobody can make me, at my age, change my lifestyle, of which I am absolutely proud."
Forget even a weasely, Clintonian "It depends on what your definition of 'is' is" for this guy. (I hope, by the way, that there's no truth to the rumor he'll be starring in a Jersey Shore: The Geriatric Years spin-off soon.)
A Rand Paul volunteer shows how the new nonapology nonapology is done on these shores--but, I have to say, with a lot less verve and a lot more self-pity. Last week, Tim Profitt stomped the head of a MoveOn activist outside a Paul appearance. After being identified, Profitt had this to say:
I don't think it's that big of a deal. I would like for her to apologize to me, to be honest with you.
That would have been a perfect nonapology nonapology if only he had stopped there.
But he didn't:
I put my foot on her, and I did push her down at the very end, and I told her to stay down. I actually put my foot on her to--I couldn't bend over because I have issues with my back.
Oooo, and there we just have serious overreach. Being a violent, unrepentant douchebag is one thing, but asking for sympathy, too? Serious miscalculation.
So, there you have it--two recent, inarguable examples showing that nonapology apologies are out and nonapology nonapologies are in. All we need is one more, and this will be picked up as a New York Times trend piece in the Sunday Styles section.