Thanksgiving wishes from Sarah Palin

Yeah, yeah, yeah--everyone and his brother is already linking to this.

But, wow! I have never seen anything so funny and completely appalling at the same time.

Let me say one more time: Wow.

Answering the world's queries, one at a time

Recent search queries that have stranded visitors on The Velvet Blog, with commentary:

sexy only blog
Oh, you know me too, too well.

unicorn self serve
That's the problem with unicorns. They're such loners.

lawrence of arabia bamboo shoots under fingernails
It's tad long, but, ouch, that's harsh. For true torture, you can't beat Manos: The Hands of Fate.

does yogurt make you poop
I'm not sure how to answer that. Perhaps another TVB visitor would like to reply?

sometimes it's better not to ask
I knew you'd come through.

how to leave people guessing

Word of the day

Meh.

It's almost Thanksgiving ...

Time to rerun my grandmother's oatmeal stuffing recipe:

Saute a chopped medium onion (or, if you're feeling fancy, a big shallot) and rib of celery in oil. Add salt and pepper and two cups of rolled oats or quick-cooking oats and continue sauteing until the oats get toasty. Then stuff the turkey. (Obviously, you can cut this in half for a chicken. Or bake it in a covered dish alongside the bird with some chicken stock to keep it moist.)

That's it.

(Look for Punkinsmom to dispute my grandmother's stuffing supremacy in comments in three, two, one ...)

Highlight of Deborah Solomon's interview with Karl Rove

From tomorrow's New York Times:

Solomon: Do you think you're negative?

Rove: No.

There's just no good way to answer that question, is there? Say "yes," and you're negative. Say "no," and you're still negative.

(Semi) Random 10

As usual, I'm limited to what I can link to via the handy SeeqPod.


SeeqPod - Playable Search

Exchange it? Thanks, I'll just keep the one I have.

The magazine that pays me to copyedit also employs writers to, well, write. And while I realize they've been hired for their technical expertise, not to be slaves to grammar and spelling, must sentences like the follwing following be so freaking commonplace in their blog postings?

Quantum is being threatened with delisting by the New York Stork Exchange.

It hurts.

Vacation postcard of the day

I post this card to point out one important fact: The changing of the guard in Quebec City involves the use of a goat.

11 PM, 29 VII, 1962

Saturday

Have spent an exciting day here sightseeing. Really a big treat. Marvelous sightseeing weather. See you soon.

Love,
Capt. Jim, Nancy, Jimmy

Yes, because we need the eggs: A one-act documentary play

Older guy sitting at restaurant bar: My wife will have a margarita, and I'll have a sea breeze.

Bartender: Yes, sir.

[Bartender makes drinks, and serves them.]

Bartender: Do you want a chicken?

Older guy: Uh ... what?

Bartender: Do you want that shaken?

Everyone else sitting nearby [silently]: Oh ... "shaken."

THE END.

Things I'd rather Austin Smith would get for Christmas: A bike. A chemistry set. A complete set of Harry Potters. Warm socks.

News story #1:

Fears of a Dem crackdown lead to boom in gun sales

MIDLOTHIAN, Va. – When 10-year-old Austin Smith heard Barack Obama had been elected president, he had one question: Does this mean I won't get a new gun for Christmas?

That brought his mother, the camouflage-clad Rachel Smith, to Bob Moates Sports Shop on Thursday, where she was picking out that special 20-gauge shotgun — one of at least five weapons she plans to buy before Obama takes office in January. ...

News story #2:

Boy Killed Firing Submachine Gun At Firearms Expo

Eight-year-old Christopher Bizilj died after accidentally shooting himself in the head in what was supposed to be among the safest possible settings for youngsters to handle firearms.

The third-grader from Ashford, a well-liked "all-American boy," was attending a "Machine Gun Shoot & Firearms Expo" on Sunday at the long-established Westfield Sportsman's Club in Massachusetts. While shooting, he was supervised by a trained professional and within sight of his father, Dr. Charles Bizilj, the medical director of emergency and critical care at Johnson Memorial Hospital in Stafford.

Yet something went horribly wrong.

What some, including a longtime club member and retired gun designer, found most startling was that the boy was firing a 9mm, Micro Uzi submachine gun, a weapon that weighs about 5 pounds and can fire 1,200 rounds a minute. ...

Wow.

That is all.