I'm listening to some vintage radio broadcasts of "Dragnet," given to me by my friend Grammarian. The shows are oddly fascinating and stylized, sounding to my ears like a weird combination of "Law & Order," Samuel Beckett, and David Mamet (minus the swearing). Equally intriguing are the commercials, mostly for Chesterfield cigarettes. Here's one, verbatim, as delivered by "Dragnet" star Jack Webb:
"Before a case goes to trial, a working detective has to get all the evidence. He interviews witnesses, takes statements, checks and rechecks. He tries to get all the facts. As a smoker, you, too, should be interested in facts. You should know, Chesterfield is the first to give you scientific data in support of smoking. Nose, throat, and accessory organs [are] not adversely affected by smoking Chesterfields--the first such report ever published about any cigarette. Remember that, and next time, buy Chesterfields."
Wow. Who would have thought smoking doesn't affect your organs' ability to accessorize?