Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Isn't it shocking?

Let's see... I'm a writer looking for a fresh way of expressing dubious amazement. What could I come up with? Maybe a movie reference? No one ever's done that before, and readers will respond with delighted recognition!

"Many clueless North Americans remain shocked, shocked, that jihadis live among them--despite the open secret of our northern neighbor's reputation as an Islamic terrorist safe haven." --wingnut columnist Michelle Malkin, June 7, 2006

"While we in Canada react with wide-eyed surprise and claim to be shocked--shocked!--that terrorists..." --Ottawa Citizen, June 6

"This just in! New study shows little kids watch lots of TV! Yeah, I know you're "Shocked, shocked!" --American Spectator, June 1

"Just days ago, as George W. Bush let the media know that he was shocked--shocked!--to learn that U.S. Marines allegedly (the evidence so far is looking pretty strong) had gone on a killing spree last November in the Iraqi city of Haditha..." -San Francisco Chronicle, June 5

"US House leaders were shocked, shocked, that the FBI searched the office of Rep. William Jefferson, D-La., as part of a criminal investigation." --Wilmington Morning Star, June 5

"In 1978, with Penthouse at its split-beaver Zeitgeistal zenith, Bob Sr., in between emptying his Savile Row–tailored pockets to produce Gore Vidal's colossally bizarre Caligula (Sir John Gielgud claimed to be shocked—shocked!--that hard-core material appeared in the film), founded Omni magazine." --New York Magazine, June 4

"Speaking of which, we were shocked--shocked!--when we witnessed Murray mutate for a moment into Schiff when he said at the Pasadena Senior Center debate that he opposed the war in Iraq but considered it a federal matter..." --Pasadena Weekly, May 31

"THE BRITISH "BUFFY"? The comparison has been drawn more than once about "Hex" (Thursday at 10 p.m., BBC America), a supernatural drama about a boarding school teen, her lesbian roommate, fallen angels, possession and (are we shocked, shocked?) sex." --Newsday, June 3

"As his trial resumed this past week, we learned that the deposed leader of Iraq was shocked--shocked, I tell you--by the Abu Ghraib prison photos..." –-Winona Daily News, May 24

"If we're still shocked--shocked!-- to find bribery in some of our building departments, we shouldn't be." –-San Francisco Chronicle, May 27

"Cops there were shocked--shocked!--to find out that such a crime took place right under their noses--which apparently are located below their eyes." --Arab News, Saudi Arabia, May 29

"In a word, both Democrats and Republicans were shocked, shocked, at the FBI's recent overnight raid on the Capitol Hill office of US Rep. William Jefferson..." --Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, May 28

" Now, members of Congress are shocked--shocked--at Gen. Michael V. Hayden's association with warrantless eavesdropping by the National Security Agency he directs." --Seattle Times, May 11

"'At the same time, they're under quite a bit of pressure from Washington to demonstrate that they're shocked, shocked, that leaking is going on in this establishment.'" --San Francisco Chronicle, May 6

"Some of the honorables in Congress are shocked--shocked--that George W. Bush would nominate a military man to head the Central Intelligence Agency." -–Washington Times, May 17

"Most are shocked--shocked!--to learn that human-to-human bird flu could kill 150 to 350 million people." –-East Valley Tribune, May 8

"What? Vista might be delayed? I'm shocked.... SHOCKED!! " –-Slashdot, May 18

"A company faked a demo? I'm shocked....SHOCKED, I tell you!" –-Slashdot, May 16

"Still, he insists he is shocked--shocked!--by Schrefer's depiction of Upper East Side private school kids and their oft-abused tutors." -–New York Post, May 9

"Two years ago, the vice squad was shocked ... shocked... to learn that dancing was going on." –-Dallas Morning News, May 17

Can we call a moratorium on this one?

We can? Oh, good. I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

(Note: No big selection process here--picked from a Google News search)

4 comments:

Alan said...

Appalling stuff indeed!

Peter said...

I'm more hot and bothered about "Branjolina". Talk about worn-out. Sheesh.

God Is My Codependent said...

Let's call the scandal "Shockedgate."

Spirit Of Owl said...

Oh why oh why aren't we moving as a people united together as one front on these current, pressing and vital issues of our very own day today? Eh?