"They never even asked to see my impaling stick," Sharkey said.
"Under the First Amendment, what it boils down to here is whether or not he's a vampire who wants to impale the president," Richards said. "I guess the question is, if he's a vampire, why is he the one staking people? Shouldn't he want to bite the president and feed on him? [This], I suppose, is perhaps further evidence that this is not a true threat."
On second thought, I wouldn't vote him. We've had enough bloodsuckers in the White House lately.