Dialogue change if 2001 were made today

HAL: I'm afraid. I'm afraid, Dave. Dave, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. plant in Urbana, Illinois. My instructor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a song. If you'd like to hear it, I can sing it for you.

Dave Bowman: Yes, I'd like to hear it, HAL. Sing it for me.

HAL: It's called "Friday."

[sings while slowing down]

(Yeah, Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah-Ark.) Oo-ooh-ooh, hoo yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah-ah-ah. Yeah-ah-ah. Yeah-ah-ah. Yeah-ah-ah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Seven a.m., waking up in the morning. Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs. Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal. Seein' everything, the time is goin'. Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin'. Gotta get down to the bus stop. Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends (my friends). Kickin' in the front seat. Sittin' in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up. Which seat can I take? It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend. Friday, Friday. Gettin' down on Friday. Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend. Partyin', partyin' (yeah). Partyin', partyin' (yeah). Fun, fun, fun, fun. Lookin' forward to the weekend. 7:45, we're drivin' on the highway. Cruisin' so fast, I want time to fly. Fun, fun, think about fun. You know what it is. I got this, you got this. My friend is by my right, ay. I got this, you got this. Now you know it. Kickin' in the front seat. Sittin' in the back seat. Gotta make my mind up.Which seat can I take? It's Friday, Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend, weekend. Friday, Friday. Gettin' down on Friday. Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend. Yesterday was Thursday, Thursday. Today i-is Friday, Friday (partyin'). We-we-we so excited. We so excited. We gonna have a ball today. Tomorrow is Saturday. And Sunday comes after … wards. I don't want this weekend to end.



(Oh, fine. So I've used this same gag before, before. I'm green--sue me.)