Thursday, May 12, 2011

You asked for it!: The outsourced edition

It's busy-busy-busy at Chez Velvet. Concerned reader God Is My Codependent has stepped in to handle our regular post on weird search terms that have stranded visitors here. Thanks, GIMC!

adorable abominations
--No, we've never done any posts about Rodney Allen Rippy.

sell used seacrest hyperbaric chamber
--A tip: It's worth more if you leave Ryan in it.

activia makes you poop arrow
--I'm not sure I want to poop that much.

is bill gates a virgin
--Only his barber knows.

sexy pauly shore
--I really, really hope there's a new state named Pauly that has nude beaches.

mohammed bacon
--Aisle 4, across from the St. Peter Morning After Pills.

nazi satanists nasa venn diagram
--What is a circle?, Alex.

monkey that looks like a baby
--No! No! You got the joke backwards! The baby looks like a monkey and the punchline is "And how about a banana for your monkey?" For cryin' out loud, people, don't be hanging around the Internet if you can't bring the funny. Sheesh.

Editor's note: Blogger ate the original post and comments. This is not the original post, but an incredible simulation.


ChefNick said...

How do you get these search questions? I only get "what does an atom look like" ad infinitum (I guess people really want to know what an atom looks like, and I'm happy to oblige) . . . I must include the word "zombie" or "sock puppet" more often in my posts to get the kind of curiosity-seeking public you get.

BTW, Jim, God is a very good stand-in -- you should hire Him more often.

Knatolee said...

My, I DO like your new guest helper!