This is how I do posts for The Velvet Blog: Some odd idea hits me, usually when I have no time to do anything about it. So I start a file in Blogger, write down a phrase to remind me of the idea, and hit "save as draft." Then I go back to it when I have time to write--at lunch, before work, at night, whenever.
But sometimes those draft ideas come to naught. They just linger on indefinitely, and for some reason, I hate to just delete them.
And because I love all of you so much, I now invite you in to take a look at my rejects: Blog posts I never wrote.
On Dec. 2, 2005, I saved: downwithclowns.com. There is no Web site with this address, so I guess this was going to be some sort of anti-clown diatribe.
Jan. 5: Smackdown!: Gilmore Girls vs. Gastineau Girls. This might actually be funny. I don't know why I never wrote an entry to go along with it.
Jan. 27: school lunch menus. I think I saw an odd (real) school lunch menu somewhere, and it seemed like a good idea at the time to spoof it.
March 24: charlie brown teacher voice. This was going to be about how when a certain person at my office speaks, all I can hear is the wah wah wah wah sound they use for adult voices in the Peanuts specials. I decided not to do this when I realized one or two people from work read this blog. No need for blackmail material.
April 14: italics: good thing they can't read my thoughts. I have no clue what this means.
April 20: clavell: cheapest way possible. The story of my uncomfortable confrontation with best-selling author James "Shogun" Clavell in a previous job. Sooner or later, I'll probably write this.
May 19: infrequently asked questions. An idea from God Is My Codependent. The antithesis of a FAQ. Great idea, but somehow, I could never come up with enough that was funny.
May 31: "Sure, but to you, everything sounds dirty," he ejaculated. This was going to be a post filled with filthy Spoonerisms. Never got past the first one.
June 20: Ideas for sequels to "Freakonomics." Because for some reason the word "Superfreakonomics" popped into my head. But it's kind of a one-joke idea that's not even particularly funny. Besides, I never even read Freakonomics.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is what the dusty corners inside my head look like.
No posts for a few days. Lotsa deadlines.