Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Improving the World's "Funniest" Joke

Concerned reader God Is My Codependent points out this CNN story from 2002:

In an experiment conducted in Britain, people around the world were invited to judge jokes on an Internet site as well as contribute their own.

The LaughLab research, carried out by psychologist Dr. Richard Wiseman, from the University of Hertfordshire, attracted more than 40,000 jokes and almost two million ratings.

And here it is...

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Wiseman said the joke worked across many different countries and appealed to men and women and young and old alike.

Well, that didn't make me laugh.

Let's try some different punchlines:

"No soap, radio!"

"Yes, but it's pronounced 'Throat-Warbler Mangrove!'"

"If I could walk that way, I wouldn't need the talcum powder!"

"I know, and such small portions!"

"Mom's on the roof, and we can't get her down!"

"I love my cigar, too, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while!"

Nope, it's hopeless.


God Is My Codependent said...

For years I thought this was the funniest thing ever (it helps if you use heavy Colonel Pickering style accents):

Two Englishmen are talking. One sys, "I heard they buried your wife." And the other one says, "Had to. Dead, you know."

Mark said...

I was going to vote for "no soap, radio" but then I remembered, "Rectum!?! Hell, it killed 'im."