Did The Velvet Blog try to counteract a bad day yesterday by looking at pictures of cute dogs and kittens? Of course not. The implication is absurd. We categorically deny any such assertions, and suspect the liberal media of misquoting TVB yet again.
Has TVB taken a turn for the scatological, with posts about pee-fueled batteries and cow manure? What??? That's just sophomoric! The Velvet Blog would never sink to such depths. We must protect the children from such language.
Earlier this week, did TVB unfairly compare popular comedienne and fashion authority Joan Rivers to a living fossil? There is no proof of this, and such a charge is simply unfounded. What the TVB said was, "Joan Rivers should be taken out." And by that, we meant "taken out on a date and shown a really good time." By a death squad.
Does TVB have an impossibly adorable dog? Well, yes. That much is true. But would the liberal media ever admit this? Of course not!