Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Dear Alien: Please don't kill us

In the news:
Is there anybody out there? And if there is, what will alien lifeforms make of bloggers signed up to a new service to beam their online rantings into outer space?

That the planet is made up of 16-year-old Hong Kong girls who love the color pink?
"We are giving bloggers the opportunity to send a piece of their lives into space to potentially connect with extraterrestrials," said Ted Murphy, president and CEO of the Florida-based firm MindComet.

If aliens turn out to be Pauly Shore fans, I'm sunk. If aliens turn out to be mean, laser-wielding Pauly Shore fans, I am totally screwed.
Blogosphere meet atmosphere: The free service, BloginSpace.com, will beam web feeds of blogs -- weblogs, or personal Internet diaries -- into deep space via a powerful satellite broadcast.

"I've always believed that other intelligent life forms are out there, and now, for the first time, they will be able to peer into the life of average Homo sapiens," Murphy said.

I'm still trying to find out if there are intelligent life forms down here. Judging by a pretty large percentage of blogs, it's not looking good.
Human beings have been sending television and radio signals into space for decades, packed with images of war and anger. MindComet wants to offer any alien beings a new way of looking at Earth. "This program gives us the opportunity to show our race in a different light," Murphy said.

Oh, sure, a different light is good. But blogs???
But bloggers beware: Extraterrestrials could have sensitive ears, and online perorations should be suitable for an alien family audience, devoid of risque or explicit content. "We strongly urge our users to refrain from language or content designed to provoke our alien neighbors," Murphy said. --Yahoo News

Who knew aliens were such pussies? Yeah, I'm talking to you, Predator.


Grammarian said...

This is so arrogant. Aliens don't need us to beam anything. They're already watching.

Jay Jordan said...


the aliens are already here!

there was a documentary on discovery or something about it...

men in black or something

NYPinTA said...

Actually, Peter Jennings did a special about aliens a few months back. (I made fun of him.) Now he's dead. Coincidence? I think not.

I do feel bad for making fun of him though. Sorta.