So, a New York Post gossip columnist is accused of trying to shake down a billionaire to the tune of $100,000 plus $10,000 a month to keep unflattering gossip off Page Six.
Hmmmmmm. I'm getting an idea.
Hey, Mark from the Biomes Blog: Give me $13.50 or I blab about that gas-guzzling Hummer you have hidden in the garage. Mr. Environment--ha!
God Is My Co-dependent: Do you really want everyone to know you're a Britney Spears fan? Wire $22.25 into my bank account.
Trina: Sure you talk a good game, building up the image you want of cranky, cranky Trina. How'd you like it if I let everyone know you're really perkier than Kelly Ripa? A money order in the amount of $17 will keep my lips sealed.
Doug... or should I say Dr. Total Sham Who Got His Medical Diploma Off The Web? $30 and I don't breathe a word.
Peter, I don't think you need me reminding people of your resemblance to Annette Benning, now do you? $19.
Fanatic Cook: Do you know how easy it would be to whip up of pic of you finishing off a bag of Doritos? $25 and I hit the delete key.
Punkinsmom: Strangely, I have nothing on you. $20, though, or I make shit up.
Debbie: $24 or I start a rumor you really named your kid Moxie Crimefighter.
NYPinTA: $32 or I tell Joss Whedon you've been talking smack behind his back.
Asher: Improv my foot--$25 or I let the cat out of the bag: you've got an earpiece in your ear with Karl Rove feeding you lines.
Gina: $33 or I let everyone know you don't knit ... you crochet.
Count yourselves lucky that I can be had cheap.
Oh, and a note to the regulars I forgot: You're safe ... for now!! Bwahaha haahaha hahahaha* [cough, cough, sputter].
*That's supposed to be an evil laugh.