Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Why I will never write perfume reviews for The New York Times

Because I could never string together sentences like these:
Bigarade smells like a person trapped in a complex weather system, the wonderful scent of a guy's armpit and a woman's humid skin washed in fresh rainwater and ozone. ... It is a masterful juxtaposition, and smelling Bigarade is like looking down into a well of cool, black water. Your retinas expand from the strange pleasure of this scent. --The New York Times

I suspect this writer's retinas have expanded from sniffing glue, not perfume.

(I should point out that I saved a draft of this on Sunday for later posting, and Gawker pointed out the same passage on Monday. No plagiarism intended.)


punkinsmom said...

Is it possible for retinas to expand?

MsYvone said...

I never knew they had Perfume reviews. Just like I change the channel everytime I see "digger the Dermatofite", the passage "the wonderful scent of a guys armpit" totally lost me.

Will said...

I love to smell my armpit washed in ozone. Where can I buy this perfume? My retinas need expanding.

God Is My Codependent said...

Man, I can't remember the last time I had a really good ozone wash.