Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Why I will never write perfume reviews for The New York Times

Because I could never string together sentences like these:
Bigarade smells like a person trapped in a complex weather system, the wonderful scent of a guy's armpit and a woman's humid skin washed in fresh rainwater and ozone. ... It is a masterful juxtaposition, and smelling Bigarade is like looking down into a well of cool, black water. Your retinas expand from the strange pleasure of this scent. --The New York Times

I suspect this writer's retinas have expanded from sniffing glue, not perfume.

(I should point out that I saved a draft of this on Sunday for later posting, and Gawker pointed out the same passage on Monday. No plagiarism intended.)

4 comments:

punkinsmom said...

Is it possible for retinas to expand?

MsYvone said...

I never knew they had Perfume reviews. Just like I change the channel everytime I see "digger the Dermatofite", the passage "the wonderful scent of a guys armpit" totally lost me.

Will said...

I love to smell my armpit washed in ozone. Where can I buy this perfume? My retinas need expanding.

God Is My Codependent said...

Man, I can't remember the last time I had a really good ozone wash.