Yay--the annual Bad Sex Awards, for terrible smutty writing, are in!
The winner is Jonathan Littell, from his novel The Kindly Ones:
"I came suddenly, a jolt that emptied my head like a spoon scraping the inside of a soft-boiled egg."
Remind me not to have breakfast at his house.
But I'd say Paul Theroux should have won for this passage from A Dead Hand:
"She took my head in both hands and guided it downward, between her fragrant thighs. 'Yoni puja--pray, pray at my portal.'"
Remind me never to cross Theroux's portal. Or pray, ever again.
(Hat tip: Idle Musings)