Warning: If you love your children, keep them away from your computer monitor for the next 20 minutes

Christmas is all about traditions. In order for the holiday to make sense, mom must make the same cookies with the same cookie cutter, dad must fall off the ladder while hanging the lights, grandma must make you an itchy sweater. And, of course, you must watch really atrocious Christmas-themed videos with The Velvet Blog.

Lots of bad goodies ahead for you. But let's start the season with this K. Gordon Murray masterpiece I just discovered. It's called "Santa Claus and His Helpers," and features all the beloved Christmas characters from your youth--you know, Merlin the Magician, Stinky the Skunk, and Ferocious Wolf.

So put on your Snuggie, grab that cup of hot cocoa (with a shot of Kahlua), and get ready for meeting the Magic Teletalker a little over 2 minutes into this video, an image that will haunt your nightmares for years to come. (Really. I'm not kidding.)





Mr. Murray, who appears to have a hatred not only for children, but indeed for all mankind, is also responsible for the previously mentioned Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters (which also features Stinky the Skunk and Ferocious Wolf) and Puss N' Boots.

He has much to answer for.