Friday, September 15, 2006

Foods I won't eat because they resemble other things

Food: Lobster

Resembles: A large prehistoric bug

Reasoning: They're just plain freaky looking. If you saw a gigantic locust, would you eat that? What you really like is the melted butter. My advice: Melt a stick of Land O'Lakes and just sip at that. (But be healthy about it--use the unsalted variety. You need to watch your sodium.)


Food: Cauliflower

Resembles: A brain

Reasoning: If vegetables ever organized and tried to take over the world, cauliflower would be the leader of the revolt.


Food: Brains

Resembles: Cauliflower

Reasoning: Do I really need a reason? They're brains!


MsYvone said...

i have a friend who won't eat certain foods in these categories:

1. Stuff in Stuff. ie. grapes or other fruit in Jello molds.

2. Food that fights back. ie. Jello that springs back and wiggles when you try to cut into it.

3. Jello.

alan said...

David Foster Wallace wrote an article and produced an audio book called 'Consider the Lobster'. He mentions that in the not too distant past Lobster was only fed to inmates of prison and mental institutions. Some states passed a law saying that it should only be given once or twice a week because it was considered similar to eating rats.
Maggie won’t eat Lobster because they mate for life but I'm not sure if that’s true.

Jim Donahue said...

My mom still makes a jello salad (with fruit) for get-togethers. I pass.