For years, I've wanted a minion. It would be great to have a minion. "Hey, minion, I said I wanted half and half in my coffee--this is skim! Be gone with you!"
Then, recently, I thought ... maybe it would be better to have an acolyte. But, mulling it over, I realized what I really wanted was a sycophant. Or maybe an idolator. Or, perhaps, one lackey, a couple of toadies, and a flunky to be named later.
I don't think that's asking so much.
UPDATE: I've decided to hold out for a lickspittle.