Our overinventive critics

With each tour Madonna has embarked on in recent years, her deltoids appear to have grown more regally expansive, robust and winglike. Toward the end of the Wembley show, part of a worldwide tour pegged to her album "Confessions on a Dance Floor," Madonna sings one of the hits from it, "Hung Up," a song about a woman who migrates between boredom and agony as she waits for a man to call. But who could this man possibly be? Unless Madonna is expecting a call from Wladimir Klitschko about meeting him in the ring, the sight of her singing a song like this, in a leotard no less, leaves you feeling as you might if you were forced to watch Ethel Merman trying to impersonate Chet Baker. --The New York Times

While I admit this made me laugh, I also suspect that it makes nearly no sense whatsoever. Wladimir Klitschko? (That could be Madonna's drag name.) Ethel Merman impersonating Chet Baker? Huh???