Monday, March 30, 2009


You know what the problem with Twitter is? Posts are just too damned long-winded. It lets you post 140 characters! 140! Jeez, people, if I had that much time to read Twitter posts -- tweets, if you will, though I won't -- I'd finally finish reading Gravity's Rainbow.

Twitter bills itself as a microblogging service, but what we need is a micromicroblogging platform for really, really busy people like me. Here's the twist: Posts are limited to four characters. Yes, four characters. That's more than enough. Hell, Faulkner once had an entire chapter of one of his novels consist entirely of the sentence "My mother is a fish." And if Faulkner can clock in at five words, surely you can make do with four characters. Face it, you're no William Faulkner.

For example, if I were using Twitter, this post would consist entirely of the word "Idea." That's it. Really, that's enough. The post itself is just window dressing.

Well, enough of my yakking.

I'm also working on an antisocial networking site, one that absolutely no one can read.

Once I get that set up, you'll be the first not to read about it.

UPDATE: Britain's The Guardian will become the world's first all-Twitter newspaper, and will even revise all of its archives. The death of JFK will henceforward be recorded as: "JFK assassin8d @ Dallas, def. heard second gunshot from grassy knoll WTF?"

140 characters to report the news? Hell, they're not even trying.


Mark said...


Jim Donahue said...

Sorry, Mark, that period put you over the max character count.

Wendy said...


God Is My Codependent said...


Jim Donahue said...


Mark said...


I mean, "Dam."

ChefNick said...


(Those sneaky-ass bastards, French Connection U.K., okay, so I'm over the 4-character limit, but hell, why not just run off at the mouth why don't I, now that I've gotten started.)

I LOVE the idea of an antisocial-networking site. Just like I thought of having a miserability party where no one brings everything and everyone argues, gets drunk and drives home, hopefully to hit a pedestrian or two on the way, an ANTISOCIAL network would be DREAMY.

I'll be the first not to join. Where do I not sign up?

ChefNick said...

We could call it "Assbook."

Though I'm sure it's been done.

ChefNick said...

It's been done. But "" is available. Go for it, Jim.

punkinsmom said...


fermicat said...