Monday, February 05, 2007

Ways to celebrate Wed., Feb. 7, Charles Dickens Day (Now with Bonus Update)

--Pick a pocket or two
--Spend the rest of your life in a ratty wedding dress
--Send an orphan to live in a debtor's prison


UPDATE: More ways--
--Die before finishing your last novel and watch hopelessly as the "Pina Colada Song" guy turns it into a musical
--Reminisce about Fezziwig, the only decent boss you've ever had
--Spontaneously combust*

*Yes, a character in Bleak House bursts into flames for no explainable reason. I've decided I want to go by spontaneous combustion. I'll be at a fancy dinner party, dressed in a tuxedo, and at some point I'll get up from the table and say: "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" And burst into flames. Though if it's planned, I guess it's not very spontaneous, is it?

3 comments:

punkinsmom said...

Please, sir, may I have some more?

blogone said...

Shit! That sucks that I missed your 50,000 visit / hit celebration. congratulations its been worth all the mouse clicks.

unclewilly said...

You might mark the day by finally starting to plan your world tour of prestigious lecture halls, during which you will be presenting dramatic readings of selected works from your blog. I'm going with it.