Yeah, I bet they are

Today's Google hits for The Velvet Blog:

eric bana topless
monkeys getting spanked

You must be out of your mind

Busy, busy, busy at work through next week. Limited to no posting till after the crush.

Meanwhile, enjoy this song, which I can't get out of my head:

You don't meet many Ednas or Elberts these days

New York City
3-6-16

We are having a very pleasant trip & lots of good times. Edna came down for over Sunday with us & we are going to Elbert's for next Sunday, we think. It is snowing hard. Love to all, [?]


Click the card to embiggen.

I sing the postcard electric

July 4, 1944

Dear M. Wish you could see the two homes in this season. Very lovely flower & veg. gardens. Children are so well & such [?]. Jimmie has [??] out and tomatoes 1-1/2 in diameter. We are canning beans today. Sunday we rose early, went to Jones Beach for broiled break. 6 families!!! Love, Ava

Hurryupslowdown

Talking to reporters in Washington on Monday, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said the U.S. administration "very clearly and directly" supports the [Iranian] protesters.

"What we see happening in Iran today is a testament to the courage of Iranian people and an indictment of hypocrisy of the Iranian regime--a regime which over the last three weeks has constantly hailed what went on in Egypt and now, when given the opportunity to afford their people the same rights as they called for on behalf of the Egyptian people, once again illustrate their true nature," she said. --RTT, Feb. 15

Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton warned on Sunday that removing President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt too hastily could threaten the country’s transition to democracy. ...

Citing the Egyptian Constitution, Mrs. Clinton said that if Mr. Mubarak stepped down now, Egypt would have to hold elections for a new president in 60 days — too little time for the government or the opposition to organize a credible vote.

Her comments, made to reporters on the way home from a conference in Munich, echo what administration officials have said privately and some of what the White House’s temporary diplomatic emissary to Cairo, Frank G. Wisner, said publicly on Sunday: Mr. Mubarak is likely to remain in the picture, at least a while longer. --The New York Times, Feb. 6

Maybe I'm being unfair here. But, hey, it's my blog. It's pretty clear, though, that Clinton and Wisner were actively trying to throw cold water on the uprising in Egypt. So she might want to cool it on the "hypocritical" accusations.

Candy hearts, 50% off (or best offer)

Or, make your own hearts here.

UPDATE:

A contribution from God Is My Codependent:

Random 10

Beck, "Paper Tiger"
Fountains of Wayne, "Someone to Love"
Fountains of Wayne, "Radiation Vibe"
Badly Drawn Boy, "Is There Nothing We Could Do?"
School of Seven Bells, "Half Asleep"
Prefab Sprout, "Silhouettes"
Etta James, "At Last"
XTC, "The Smartest Monkeys"
Psychedelic Furs, "The Ghost in You"
Semisonic, "Secret Smile"


Nonrandom bonus track:
David Bowie and Marianne Faithfull, "I've Got You, Babe"

Headline of the day

Rumsfeld's top regret: not quitting after Abu Ghraib

Yeah, that's a top regret of a whole bunch of people.

Cockney flower girl flees Nazis in the Australian outback with a sexy priest

Part of an occasional series in which we improve depressing or odd descriptions of vanity press books advertised in The New York Times Book Review by adding the phrase "Wacky high jinks ensue" at the end of them. Ad copy verbatim (except for the high jinks) from the Feb. 6 issue:

Nine Lives to Eternity is one man's true chronicle of cheating death a miraculous twenty-seven times. Witness how, despite numerous near-death experiences leading to twenty-six fractured bones and unconsciousness on five separate occasions, [the author] has lived to tell his compelling story. Wacky high jinks ensue.

Worst Safety Inspector ever.

Moved by the Holy Spirit, [the author] eloquently pens a sundry collection of both spiritual and mundane articles, insights, songs, and passages--creatively presented through acrostics--into one compelling and interesting book, May God Bless You. Wacky high jinks ensue.

For the record, "gesundheit" would have sufficed.

Præy To God: A Tasteful Trip Through Faith, invites you to read a tasteful memoir--a twentieth century American reality-story comparable to The Sound of Music, My Fair Lady, and The Thorn Birds, with a lesson in Havardian Theology. Wacky high jinks ensue.

Hey, wait a minute ... I smell a hit! A very tasteful hit!

Happy anniversary

Feb. 5, 1950.

Smackdown!: Punxsutawney Phil vs. Phil Collins

Punxsutawney Phil

WHO?: The most famous of spring-predicting groundhogs.

PRO: Inspired the classic film Groundhog Day. Right 39% of the time, according to random page I found on the Internet.

CON: Wrong 61% of the time. Basically, as Bill Murray has pointed out, an overgrown squirrel.


Phil Collins

WHO?: Singer/songwriter/drummer/vague annoyance.

PRO: There's so much he needs to say to you--so many reasons why.

CON: If you told him you were drowning, he would not lend a hand. Also, "Sussudio": What the hell was that about?


WINNER: Gotta go with Punxsutawney Phil. Groundhog Day really is a classic. Also, who knows how many people Phil Collins has allowed to drown?

Driving Mr. Crazy

From the CBS affiliate in Atlanta:

ATLANTA -- A state lawmaker from Marietta is sponsoring a bill that seeks to do away with Georgia driver's licenses.

Good! Let's keep those terrible, terrible Georgia drivers off the roads! And public transportation is better for the environment. What a green idea!

State Rep. Bobby Franklin, R-Marietta, has filed House Bill 7, calling it the "Right to Travel Act."

In his bill, Franklin states, "Free people have a common law and constitutional right to travel on the roads and highways that are provided by their government for that purpose. Licensing of drivers cannot be required of free people, because taking on the restrictions of a license requires the surrender of an inalienable right."

Oh. That's where he's going with this.

Franklin told CBS Atlanta News that driver's licenses are a throw back to oppressive times. “Agents of the state demanding your papers," he said. "We’re getting that way here.”

Yes! Getting that way! Why, I remember the day Obama first demanded we have driver's licenses ... in New Jersey in 1913.

CBS Atlanta's Rebekka Schramm asked Franklin, “How are we going to keep up with who’s who and who’s on the roads and who’s not supposed to be on the roads?”

“That’s a great question," Franklin said. "And I would have to answer that with a question, ‘Why do you need to know who’s who?’”

And I would like to answer that with a question: Who helps you feed yourself and put on clothes in the morning?

“What about 12-14-year-olds who want to drive? What would stop them?" Schramm asked.

“Well, what’s stopping them now anyway?” Franklin answered. ...

Make sure to give them some schnapps first before hitting the road. Helps them focus.

Franklin is also behind House Bill 11, which would repeal the authority of the governor to issue mandatory vaccination orders. “I’m a firm believer that no person should be subjected to an invasive medical procedure without their consent,” he said.

“Have you ever had critics say, ‘Look, some of these bills are a waste of paper?’” Schramm asked.

“I can’t speak for what other people think," Franklin said. "I just know I took an oath to uphold the Constitution, and that’s what I’m trying to do.”

It's true. You can't inoculate for stupid.


UPDATE: I don't know what to make of the numerous comments supporting his position on that CBS story. On the level or satire? Has this been an issue percolating under the surface that I've missed?

h/t: A commenter at Sadly, No!

Ask your monkey butler to hit "Record"

TVB reader Mark Hall and his brainy octopus Ruby will be featured in the Feb. 9 episode of Nova, on animal intelligence. You can read about the episode at that link, and there's a trailer but (boo!) no footage of Ruby.