Headline improvements

The latest in a semi-occasional series in which we make headlines more accurate.


David Blaine breaks world record for holding one's breath TV viewers disappointed when David Blain doesn't die, yet again

Obama seeking to divorce himself from former pastor Shoot me. Please. Really, I can't take this anymore.

Inflatable pig lost during Coachella music festival is found The brown acid that is circulating around is not specifically too good

Sign that you're old--really, really old

Foreigner, a band popular when you were in high school, is having its current tour sponsored by AARP.

Could be worse, I guess. "Sponsored by Depend Adult Incontinence Products," say.

I have a bad case of spring fever

How about you?



The guy in this film, however, seems to have had a bad case of magic mushrooms.

Quotation of the Day

First daughter Jenna Bush isn't as committed to Republican candidate John McCain as her parents are, who are firmly behind the party's expected presidential nominee. ...

"I don't know," Jenna Bush said. "I mean, who isn't open to learning about the candidates? But, I mean, and I'm sure everybody is like that. But I really -- I honestly have been too busy with books to really pay that much attention." --The Associated Press

If by "books" you mean "keggers."

My busyness continues

Here, enjoy this video of Harry Nilsson while I try to get caught up:

Are you turned on yet?

God Is My Codependent reminded me this morning of this quote, which ran in a post here last April:

"Everyone likes to hype $4 gasoline because it's sexy," says Tom Kloza, chief oil analyst for the Oil Price Information Service, an energy consulting firm. "The reality is that we're nearing the highs of the year, and within 30 days there will be more gasoline on the market. You might see $4 in tony places such as Beacon Hill or Beverly Hills, where they wear the price as a badge of honor."

Several of the stations around my home went up to $3.75 a gallon this weekend. But I'm just not feeling the passion.

A Handy Visual Guide for distinguishing among eggs Benedict, Pope Benedict, and Benedict Arnold

A semitopical rerun from April 25, 2005:

Eggs Benedict
Distinguishing characteristic: People love to have it with a Bloody Mary at Sunday brunch.


Pope Benedict XVI
Distinguishing characteristic: Loves to mention Virgin Mary at Sunday mass.


Benedict Arnold
Distinguishing characteristic: Got a bloody nose in Virginia after making merry one Sunday.

One more thing before I go into semihibernation

A couple of posts ago, I noted that John McCain includes himself among those who "will not ... abide justice." While that use of "abide" strikes me as wrong according to the way we use language today--that is, "tolerate" -- it's acceptable according to a definition in the dictionary, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

But on McCain's Web site, the quote has been changed (fourth paragraph):

These are often the terms applied to men and women of conscience who will not endure cruelty, nor abide injustice.

Thanks to commenter andbehold for pointing that out.

In praise of Al Jaffee

Yes, I spent much of my youth wasting time reading Mad. Big surprise, right?

Check out this New York Times interactive thingee that replicates online the experiece of the Al Jaffee back-cover fold-in.

The Internet has come of age, folks (if you consider "of age" anything that makes me feel like I'm 10).

Also, reduced posting for the next few weeks. Special issue coming out, blah, blah, blah.

Headline improvements

The latest in a (very) occasional series in which we make headlines more accurate.

--If You Must Fly, Some Suggestions If You Must Fly, You're Totally, Totally Screwed. Totally.

--McCain Unlikely to Rely on Donations McCain Realizes No One Wants to Give Him Money

--Cheney, Others OK'd Harsh Interrogations Cheney, Others Are Some Sick Mothereffers

This just in ...

If you work for a publisher, you can be sure of one fact: Crazy people will send you crazy letters.

Take this fax that came through this afternoon. It starts off having something to do with 9/11. Then, midway in:

We do not want Our Mothers, Our Wives, Our Children, Our grand-children to be insulted, to be lied to, each day of our lives, to have a "mentally-sick" Canadian man, by Name: Hillary Rodham Clinton, with the help of all known, treasonous, Presidential candidates, and all Television News-staffs, through our Nations, knowing Hillary Rodham Clinton is a "mentally-sick" Canadian man out of Calgary, Alberta, Canada!!!! His picture each day on television, campaigning, is an insult, is a lie, to Our Mothers, Our Wives, Our Children, Our grand-children, to us as men, and as human-beings!!!!

Well, either it's from a crazy person, or Obama has really taken off the gloves.