Monday, July 25, 2005

Smackdown: Land of the Lost vs. Sigmund and the Sea Monsters

In this corner: Land of the Lost

Land of the Lost

Premise: Marshall, Will, and Holly, on a routine expedition, met the greatest earthquake ever known. High on the rapids, it struck their tiny raft, and plunged them down a thousand feet below to the Land of the Lost. It was always unclear to me whether they went back in time or it was an alternate dimension. Or something. Oh, and there are lizard-like creatures (Sleestacks) and a monkey-boy (Chaka).

SleestaksImage hosted by

Pros: Shows perils of entering time portals, something kids today are rarely warned about. Almost--but not quite--getting home in every single episode also teaches children that life is cruel, scary, and unfair, something they should really have drilled into their heads at an early age.

Cons: Chaka never sings "Tell Me Something Good" or even "I'm Every Woman," which is disappointing. Supports anti-lizardman bias.

In that corner: Sigmund and the Sea Monsters


Premise: Sigmund, a sea monster/father of modern psychiatry, is kicked out of his home for being a bad monster and for being too close to his mother. He befriends two boys, who keep him in their clubhouse. He persuades them to keep it a secret.

Sigmund and the Sea Monsters

Pros: Kept Johnny Whitaker off the streets one more year. Teaches children to keep secrets.

Cons: Johnny Whitaker sings the theme song. Sea monsters are disturbingly phallic. Strangely fey genie (annoying talk-show regular Rip Taylor) joins cast in second year.

Image hosted by

On balance: Typical Sid and Marty Krofft psychedelic low-budget extravaganzas.

And the winner is...: Land of the Lost

Deciding factor: Because Johnny Whitaker doesn't sing Land of the Lost's theme song.


Jovianne said...

Welcome back!

Anonymous said...

That was a completely different theme song.

NYPinTA said...

Wow. I remember watching Land of the Lost when I was a kid. I liked it because the little girl on the show looked like my sister and I kept imagining it was her that fell down a waterfall into an alternate dimension... or back in time... or whatever.

Jovianne said...

Yes Gramm, you are right again.

Peter said...

Sleestaks [sp?] used to creep me out! Not sure why - could have outrun them wearing cement shoes. . . Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

Anonymous said...


your point to all this is?

Jim Donahue said...

Hmm. As noted many times before, I do this solely to amuse myself. Those who are amused, too, are welcome.

To paraphrase Twain: Persons attempting to find a motive in this blog will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find meaning in it will be shot.

Now, don't make me turn off the comments function.

fakies said...

I used to watch Land of the Lost faithfully. I kept dreaming that I would get trapped in another dimension or back in time or whatever. Preferably without my family.

Anonymous said...

have you considered i get my amusement by getting you to explain your point?


John said...

Those Kroft shows scared the bejesus out of me. Especially Lidsville. Damn creepy.

MsYvone said...

A few years ago i was baby sitting a 12 year old boy and his 8 year old sister. We watched a rerun of Land of the Lost, and I mentioned watching this as a kid. The boy turned to me and said. " You liked this crap?"